Friday Night: Yelawolf & Many Guests At Warehouse Live
10:54 p.m.: Let's do this first this time. Here's the thing about Yelawolf, and you may have noticed this already, but: He's a rapper who is white - or, at least, he's one who's not black. But nobody ever gives him any shit about this; there are no cultural-appropriation jabs, none of the "He's A Gimmicky Rapper" taunts that people currently attack Mac Miller with, no nothing. But it makes sense.
Yela's music has gravitas - Trunk Muzik did anyway; Trunk Muzik 0 to 60 was good too, but chunks of it felt homogenized. He is generally adored and still a little underappreciated. He embraces who he is without hyperbolizing or marginalizing himself, a character trait found at the core of hip-hop.
Anyway, that's why we're going to see him perform as a headliner when we just saw him as an opening act less than a month ago.
11:02: ...And we're inside. The show is actually being held in that smaller section of Warehouse Live in between the main room and the Green Room. There are a fair amount of people here, all of them young and some of them are in muscle shirts. Had no idea that people actually wore those. Like, is muscle-shirt fashion an actual thing now? Jesus.
11:02:30: The enjoyable Doughbeezy, aka the Southeast Beast aka The Beez aka The Baddest Man In Size Six Tennis Shoes aka Mr. Ball Fade aka Mr. I'm Everywhere You Are aka Mr. No Pen, No Pad aka Mr. I Have More Nicknames Than I Do Songs, is walking onstage. He comes out to "Pass The Swisher," the second-best song from his Reggie Bush and Kool-Aid tape. The guy has been everywhere lately. You really have to appreciate how imperialistic he is.
KAB (center) and Doughbeezy (right)
11:09: The Beez has just brought Dante Higgins out. They're doing "H.A.M." It is easily the best song about meat to come out this year.
11:11: He's performing his version of "Blow Up." KAB is featured on that one, and is onstage right now. He has a blunt that is literally 10" long. You know why he has a blunt that is 10" long right now? Because he's the size of a goddamn Hyundai Accent, that's why. He can do what he pleases.
Nobody is telling him shit, ever. Oh, what's that you say, Mr. Security Guard? You want to confiscate my contraband? Well, tell me, how are you going to hold it, considering that I just RIPPED YOUR ARMS OFF!!!!!? RRRAAARRRGGHHHH!!!!!
11:14: "The shortest in every cipher but still the one they look up to." -Doughbeezy. Cool. Nice little set from DB et al.
11:16: DJ Mr. Rogers is spinning right now. He's also thumbing through Twitter on his phone at the same time, shouting out people that are @-ing him from the crowd. Is this cool or is this awful?
11:24: Um, there's a guy in here wearing an arm cast. That shouldn't feel as weird as it does.
11:36: "I'm not the one that's not bringing [Yelawolf] out. Don't yell at me, motherfucker." Rogers is funny.
11:38: Are you ready for Yelawolf!? Crowd: YYEEAAHHHH!!!! Well, here's Gerald Walker and Cardo.
11:39: Cardo is wearing a shirt that reads, "Listen to UGK." Cardo is smart.
11:39:30: They're playing some swelling horns and whatnot, trying to do that thing where you build everyone up and get 'em all excited and shit. Did Michael Bay direct this intro?
11:44: Walker is an alt-rapper. He was born in Chicago but eventually moved to Wisconsin, which, as we all know, is a veritable hotbed for rap talent. He's fun enough, but it appears that he thinks everyone in here knows who he is. He's like a peacock with his tail feathers all fanned out right now. Not sure how to feel about that one.
He's talented - he's from Wisconsin, remember - but nobody in here seems especially impressed. He's doing a track where he's cut up Pimp C's "Money on the dresser" line from "Int'l Player's Anthem" for the hook. That's a neat trick.
11:51: Hey, look, another guy in a cast. What the shit is going on right now? Are people really just running around breaking their arms? Why are they so reckless? Oooh, how awesome would it be if this guy with the cast and the first guy with the cast broke their arms at the exact same time, like they were UFC fighting and both put the other in an arm bar and refused to tap out? Oh, man, a double arm break? You don't see that shit everyday. That type of warriordom needs to applauded. That's amazing, amazing, amazing.
11:57: Rogers is playing "Assmilk" from Tyler, the Creator's Bastard tape. That's cool that that's happening.
11:58: And now he's playing Treal Lee and Prince Rick's "Throwed Off." That's the one where they shout over and over again, "Walk around the club, fuck everybody!" Why haven't some white kids in wayfarer sunglasses with neon arms made a parody of this video yet?
Is it really that hard to come up with "Walk around the club, hug everybody"? Or maybe even "Walk around the tub, scrub everybody"? Come on, young white kids. You're slipping. You would've been all over this shit in 2008.
12:01: Oooh, speaking of, go ahead and add White Girls Dancing To Screw Music to the big Life's Enjoyable Ridiculous Things list. Slip it in between the shakeweight and Twilight.
12:04: Guess you'll just draw your eyebrows on then? Cool, cool.