Four Comic Books That Would Make Better Musicals Than Spider-Man

Categories: Whatever

Rocks Off has gotten through our lives so far without watching a single episode of American Idol, and we are justly proud of that fact. However, even we had to view the clip of the show after we heard that the most murderous musical of the modern era was going to be featured. We're of course talking about Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark, featuring music by Bono and The Edge.

Ever since the day we heard there was going to be a Spider-Man musical, we were against the idea. The kind of things that makes Spidey Spidey are just not recreatable in a live setting, unless you somehow actually have Spider-Man.

Even then, no producer on Earth could be convinced to let him remained masked the whole time, so right there the whole thing is impossible.

Add to that the fact that we're getting music from current-U2 instead of still relevant-U2, as well as the deaths of several actors trying to portray Spider-Man, and really we're just lining up to see the whole thing fail like a heist by Rocket Racer.

There are some great comic books that could easily be turned into musicals, and we'd like to suggest the following.

death high.jpg
DEATH: THE HIGH COST OF LIVING:Unlike Neil Gaiman's sprawling epic Sandman series, his sister Death's single shot is a down-to-earth, funny romp through the joys of life with a perky female lead. Death assumes mortal form for one day every hundred years in order to better appreciate the lives she takes. The whole thing takes place in a single city, there are no real superhero antics to be tackled, and Gaiman's audience has never been bigger.

Right off the bat people are going to want to tap Gaiman's longtime muse Tori Amos as the musical collaborator, but we're going to go with Thom Yorke of Radiohead. The man is the real master of melancholy pop music, and we think he could use a nice, big-budget mainstream gig just for the change-up.

BATMAN:This is the easiest of all because it's already been very, very close to actually happening. Jim Steinman of Meat Loaf and Bonnie Tyler fame was commissioned as far back as the last century to write a Batman musical. We waited patiently for years and year - well aware of the fact that Steinman in not a fast composer - and finally gave up.

Then we heard this...

That's "In the Land of the Pigs the Butcher is King" and it's easily the best song on Meat Loaf's Bat Out of Hell III. We were so impressed with it we did a little research and found out that Steinman wrote the song for the musical as a lament by Lt. Gordon and other Gotham City officials about the rampant crime in Gotham.

We were literally this close to getting a killer Batman spectacular based on the Burton vision, with music done by one of the greatest operatic rock composers of all time. It's just criminal that it didn't happen.

More information about the dead project can be found here.

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Bobby Fontaine
Bobby Fontaine

download a free PDF copy of “Steven Tyler’s Secret Past” or order a paperback version at the following webpage - ( )

Like Julia Holcomb, whom Steven Tyler dumped after forcing her to undergo a horrific abortion procedure, my introduction into the adult world by Steven Tyler in my early teens was full of many unbelievable twists and turns. Steven’s strange eccentricities are nothing new. Like Julia, he wanted to take me on the road with Aerosmith. He offered me a non-specific job that I had no experience for because I was just a kid. When he said I had to get my parents to turn over guardianship to him so I could legally cross state lines with the band, I turned him down. I never knew what to think about it. After reading Julia’s recently published article ( ), I’m even more confused.  

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