BP? Maybe Not - Five Other Possible Summer Fest Sponsors

Categories: Only In Houston

FPSF apr20.jpg
Jermaine Rogers
Today is not only 4/20 and whatever the name for the Wednesday of Holy Week is - sorry, it's been a while since Rocks Off has been to church - it's the one-year anniversary of the BP blowout in the Gulf of Mexico. It's also the latest April Fool's Day in history, because earlier today, the pranksters at Free Press Summer Fest announced via "press release" on the Free Press Houston Web site they had signed up two new sponsors for the festival scheduled for June 4 and 5 in Eleanor Tinsley Park:

Free Press Summerfest is proud to announce not one but TWO new sponsors for this year's festival - British Petroleum and HUMMER! And with the new sponsors comes a new name: the Houston Free Press Summerfest will now be known as the BP HUMMERFEST.

Nice try, guys, but Rocks Off isn't buying it. For these kinds of events to succeed, they need to sell tickets. Lots of tickets, and that makes us think "I'll take 'PR Disasters' for $2,000, Alex." But hey, times are hard and music festivals aren't cheap, so Rocks Off thought we'd help out and suggest five other companies who would probably be willing to help underwrite some of the fun.

Maybe.

TOMS Shoes: If the weather at this year's festival is anything like the past couple of years, leave your good shoes at home unless you really, really like "the muddy look." Since TOMS already donates a pair of shoes to a needy child for every pair of shoes bought, perhaps Summer Fest could make a similar arrangement.

Fest-goers could get a brand-new pair of TOMS comfy (and washable) canvas slip-ons in exchange for their nappy old shoes, which would promptly be burned in a giant bonfire during Black Dahlia Murder's set. Note: This would be a different bonfire than the one planned for Weezer's set, during which copies of the band's last three albums will be properly disposed of.


Blast: If the makers of Colt .45's brand-new, controversial "alcopop" beverage had any idea how many underage drinkers customers-in-waiting are going to be at Summer Fest, they would slap their name all over this thing in a heartbeat.

Location Info

Map

Eleanor Tinsley Park

500 Allen Parkway, Houston, TX

Category: General

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3 comments
StellaWine
StellaWine

Is there food at the FPSF? Houston has, undeniably, the best food scene west of NOLA...I've googled the bejeezus out of "Free Press Summer Fest food"...nada...no vendor listings, no reviews of past chow at the Fest...gimme Jamaican, Malaysian, c'mon Houston, watcha got?

Hipster
Hipster

Massengill should sponsor it since it's going to be one big douchefest.

Fulviodemer
Fulviodemer

I think a Church should sponsor Free Press events like SummerFest. Last FP event I went to, everyone was clothed in the mod equiv of sackcloth and looked strikingly similar to Jesus or Mary Magdalen on a bad day. When they spoke it was as clear as ancient Aramaic. And getting a whiff made me pine for Irish Spring.

Therefore, maybe the Catholic Diocese of Houston/Galveston?

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