Friday Night: Lee-Lonn At Reserve Lounge
9:08 p.m. Lee-Lonn, in case you've yet to hear his name, is one of Houston's marquee R&B talents. He's so good, in fact, that we're heading out to see him perform live right now, despite the fact that a) far as we can tell, he only has two songs; and b) he's performing at Reserve Lounge, a downtown venue that's about as enjoyable as getting glass flicked into your eyeballs.
9:25: Here. Along with eight others. Awesome.
9:28: When a smoke machine kicks on in a packed club, it's kind of cool thing. When it kicks on in an empty club, though, it looks like some pipes just broke or something.
Btw, we took our sons to see Toy Story on Ice recently. Did you know they use the same smoke machine there that they do at cheesy nightclubs? Because they do. They have the same smell. It's weird. We couldn't stop picturing Buzz and Woody trying to hit on girls at The Roxy. Could you imagine Woody walking up to women at the bar like, "There's a snake in my boot... and my pants"? That slickster Woody.
9:33: So, we were told to get to Reserve at 9 p.m. (no chance), which really meant to get here at 9:30 p.m. (that's what we did), which really meant to get here at 10 p.m. (we should have done this), which really, really meant to get here at 10:45 (we really should've done this).
9:51: Oh, hey, some religious zealots are standing at the corner of an intersection handing out fliers and trying to talk to people about secularity. Cool, cool. Let's see if we can walk by them without getting notic - aw crap, here comes one of them.
9:54: Turns out, an eternity of hellfire is likely in our future. Bummer. On the plus side, we did get to hear the word "heretical" tonight, which we absolutely weren't expecting.
10:03: Back at Reserve. So here's what's what: Lee-Lonn was supposed to have performed last week, but says his show was axed because "I wasn't here on time, even though they didn't tell me what time to get here." He gets here this week at 9 p.m. because they tell him he's performing at 9:30. It's a couple of minutes after 10 now, and the band isn't even here. Reserve Lounge, ladies and gentlemen.
10:05: They're charging $3 for a cup of water? Nah. Guess it's Bathroom Sink Drink time. Ballin' outta control, as they say.
10:07: Ludacris's "My Chick Bad" is being played over the house speakers right now. He might have the most commercially successful yet entirely disposable rap music of all time. Once it runs through its shelf life, it simply becomes culturally unnecessary.
What a weird thing. He's good, and his music is almost always at least fun, but it just doesn't stay inflated for very long. Balloons! (That's a "My Chick Bad" joke within a My Chick Bad timestamp, suckas. Respect.)
10:23: People are getting restless. The injustice of the situation is unsettling. This is evolving into a Lee-Lonn's Fans vs. Reserve Lounge thing. Time to organize a protest. About to start a "LEE-LONN!" chant like a motherfucker.
10:39: Oh, look, the band decided to show up. That's nice of them. It's cool how they're walking in, setting up their equipment all slow and shit.