Houston Needs An Urban Cowboy Statue, Y'all

By Craig Hlavaty Tue., Mar. 1 2011 at 2:00 PM

Categories: Hollywood Shuffle, Only In Houston

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For the past month, you have no doubt been reading about a group in Detroit lobbying for a Robocop statue in their city to commemorate the fictional (we believe) robotic law enforcement titan created by the evil corporate goons of OCP, using deceased Detroit officer James Murphy.

Detroit mayor Dave Bing has officially shot down the idea of a statue honoring a make-believe robotic zombie police officer, but so far the movement has raised enough money for the production of such a work of art.

A Detroit artist has even created a bust of the proposed Robocop figure. The statue will apparently be erected on private property, using privately donated funds, with no government involvement.

In the wake of the Robocop story, two DJs in Kansas City are lobbying for a Mama's Family statue in their city, to honor the memory of the Vicki Lawrence sitcom and syndication staple. This wouldn't be the first sitcom statue; there are Mary Tyler Moore, Andy Griffith, and Bewitched statues in the cities of their fictional characters' origin.

Which leads Rocks Off to openly ponder, "Should we get a Bud and Sissy Davis statue in Houston"? Or possibly in Pasadena, with the star-crossed redneck lovers locked in a concrete and plaster embrace of Lone Star Beer and pearl snaps?

Maybe a Reality Bites statue off West Gray, featuring Winona Ryder and the gang from the Gen-X film in the throes of existential malaise, is more your speed. Rushmore was filmed in Houston, so why not a Max Fischer statue in River Oaks?

But our choice is clear. It's got to be the Davises, John Travolta and Debra Winger, and it has to be Urban Cowboy. This movie taught us all about vapid rich girls who live in high-rise apartments, the inherent mortality of plant workers, the taming of mechanized livestock, the vitality and suaveness of Mickey Gilley.

Most importantly, it taught a nation the notion that "All cowboys ain't dumb. Some of 'em got smarts real good, like me."

Where to put the statue though? Pasadena or Houston? Surely on the grounds of the long-gone Gilley's? That would surely bring traffic to Pasa-gitdown-dena, no? Maybe in front of a refinery? Houston would only offer few options, which we have yet to sort out.

You know what to do, Houston and Pasadena. Let's clasp hands and two-step to the sound of our ideas.

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