Charlie Sheen: A Playlist Full Of Winning

thesheening mar3.jpg
Photo illustration by Monica Fuentes and Chris Gray
"Heeeeeeeeeeere's Charlie!!"
The social media Hiroshima and Nagasaki that is the past two weeks of Charlie Sheen's life has led us to join the party by making our own playlist of Sheen songs. As if enough hasn't been written about this gonzo hero already, Rocks Off is now chipping in our three cents. Inflation is a bitch.

The thing is, Sheen interests people because he's living life the way everyone wishes they could. It scares people that someone so unhinged from their polite society is taking the national interest by storm, even as the Middle East rages on and the country is still as mangled as ever.

When was the last time you heard anything about Libya on your Twitter or Facebook feed? Some even compared Sheen to Muammar el-Qaddafi, which is both simplistic and elevates matters to absurdity. An actor going on an angry physical and mental tirade is different than splitting protesters in half with hand cannons. But at least we can settle on a spelling for Sheen's name.

As for Rocks Off, as long as Sheen isn't hurting others and only doing things to himself, his nose, or with consensual adults who happen to be beautiful, filthy, naughty porn stars, then we say more power to him. As long no one gets shot, burned, bludgeoned, stabbed, beaten, or raped, let the Sheen train roll on. It was probably for the best that children weren't in the household. Just good practice, that.

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The Clash, "Know Your Rights"

"They picked a fight with a warlock."

Joe Esposito, "You're The Best"

"Clearly I have defeated this earthworm with my words -- imagine what I would have done with my fire-breathing fists."

Survivor, "Eye of the Tiger"

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"I'm not bipolar, I'm bi-winning. I win here and I win there."

Led Zeppelin, "Rock & Roll"

"I'm tired of pretending like I'm not bitching, a total ... rock star from Mars, and people can't figure me out; they can't process me. I don't expect them to. You can't process me with a normal brain."

Motorhead, "Stay Clean"

"I survived because I'm me. I'm different. I have a different constitution, I have a different brain, I have a different heart. I got tiger blood, man. Dying's for fools, dying's for amateurs."

Daft Punk, "Harder Better Faster Stronger"


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14 comments
Tony
Tony

What about "Winning" by Santana?

Sophia Green
Sophia Green

Hi cutie, Could you hit me up on--- RichFlirts.C'om---A dating club for successful, beautiful people.I am a smart&pretty gal. seeking a sweet man.pls Check out my username myshine,serious...

Vivian Pran
Vivian Pran

charlie sheen is hilarious. he's inspiring everyone. even craigslist ads started featuring him. LOL awesome. check out some funny ones here http://bit.ly/hqRnnm

Lithiumpoker
Lithiumpoker

If I had his money, I surely wouldn't have spent it on crack, whores, and lose my high paying job over it! What a buffoon!

lakawak
lakawak

Oh, and by the way...you can say "as long as no one gets hurt..." but anyone with a functioning brain (again, Craig does not apply) knows that this is exactly the kind of situation that leads to murder/suicides. Especially when one of the women is considered unstable even for a porn star, as Bree Olson is considered amongst her peers.

If it WAS just the three of them, or Criag that was found dead, no one would care. Certianly not if it was Craig as he has not made a mark at all on society. But that doesn't change the fact that there ARE kids involves, whether they are in the household or not, they are involved in this piece of shit's life.

Thankfully, Criag is a lifelong virgin (not by choice) so he will never have the chance to fuck up a kids life the way his parents fucked up his.

lakawak
lakawak

I can say with complete certainty that 100% of REAL men are not jealous of having to pay an unstable woman far more than her going rate to have sex with her...just an couple hours after she has had 4 or 5 other penises inside her.

No one is jealous of Charlie Sheen. No one strives to be a woman beater. One someone that repeatedly threatens to kill their wives.

IT is clear that Craig is not a real man. Not a real writer either, which is why he writes for a blog and receives public assistance to buy milk and bread.

John Q. Public
John Q. Public

People are only interested because they love seeing a self-obsessed prick implode. We as a society love to watch people crash and burn.

illegal1
illegal1

Ya'll should have titled that first picture from "The Sheening" to "The Winning" an in tigers' blood rather than the ferrari red.

JB
JB

"As long no one gets shot, burned, bludgeoned, stabbed, beaten, or raped, let the Sheen train roll on."

The problem is that he has a history of shooting and beating women.

titianterror
titianterror

sheen has continued to work and be celebrated, and it wasn't until he broke the hollywood code and openly complained about his executive producer that the show got shut down...but note that sheen STILL wasn't fired. if sheen cleaned up, he'd probably still have a job to go back to and the show would start production again, no questions asked. if a female celebrity did a third of what sheen did, she'd be fired, deemed uninsurable and replaced faster than a screen door in a hurricane. that's not even taking into account sheen's disgusting behavior towards women. welcome to misogynistic hollywood!

that said: KICK ASS song list.

Guest
Guest

Not sure if I'm necessarily jealous because I wished I could live life his way. It's more (for me) that he's a habitual liar that's pulled out all the stops in attempting to impress people. Come on...he's not clean. He's living with a couple of ugly whores and he looks like ass and probably smells like it.

I live with my mouth open and say what I'm thinking at all times. The difference is my kids dad isn't in rehab for crack and I'm not a crackhead myself....or famous. Sheen (like most actors) needs to just shut up, fight his fight, and not speak publicly without a script. Ever.

That being said...awesome song list. Love it! Now...where can I find some fake blow and hoes to host my Charlie Sheen themed party?! I already gots the music!

Sihaya
Sihaya

Really? LiLo got hired and hired again in spite of the fact that some movies got turned into complete writeoffs when her binges and tantrums shut down production. It took her a long time to lose her movie career, and even then, the fashion world decided to let her kick it around for a little while just for the horrible, horrible publicity. Unfortunately for her, I think her career momentum will finally grind to a halt about the time she's really sober. She'll have to restart it with an appearance on "Underground Zombie Pandas" on SyFy Saturday when she says the tagline, "They Eat, Shoot, and Leave You Dead!"

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