10 Uncool Artists Primed For Hipster Rediscovery

Categories: Pop Life

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"Aw, dammit, I grabbed Dad's iPod by mistake. Paul Simon... is that one guy, or two Beatles?"
Remember emo kids? Only a few short years ago, the nation's venues of the nation were filled with kids in all black, wearing ultra-skinny jeans, eyeliner, white belts, and identical chopped-meat haircuts. Then, all at once, an entire generation realized, "Hey, we look kind of silly," and the style virtually disappeared overnight.

Sure, there are a few holdouts, in the same way people still cling to grunge, butt-rock, stoner rock, and other genres even when they're years past their prime. But for the most part, the emo kid has been replaced by the "hipster."

It's a nebulous, ill-defined word, is hipster. Some people think it means any person who seems vaguely hip or cool; others think it applies exclusively to the intentionally cartoonish overcompensators you'll see at LookAtThisFuckingHipster.com.

We tend to go with the latter definition, although it's undeniable that a significant movement has been and is still being made towards a certain aesthetic, from things as simple as fashion to complex, meaningful stuff like music and art. If we must refer to the new wave of indie/DIY/fashionable/often a little bit smug kids as "hipsters" for brevity's sake, then so be it.

One thing hipsters love to do is find something generally seen as lame and then start adoring it ironically. That's why hipsters are so into low-budget Turkish cinema and brightly colored T-shirts festooned with '80s nostalgia like Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, The Noid, and of course Phil Donahue.

We have to wonder: how will many elder rocksmen, traditionally seen as lame by previous generations, appeal to today's modern hipster?

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MICHAEL BOLTON

Michael Bolton might be best known today as the reason David Herman's character in Office Space seems to hate everything in the world around him, but in the late '80s and early '90s he was best known for his faux-soulful, sub-Cocker voice which he used to soften and whiten several old R&B and soul classics.

That softening and whitening process led us to refer to him as "Snuggles" for many years, after that talking teddy bear who helps you launder your sheets.

Hipster Cred: 2 out of 10. Bolton is as lame now as he ever was, and will most likely continue to be. Obviously he has a powerful voice, but he wastes it on wimpy lite-rock production and derivative songwriting. His score, however, could climb as high as 7 or maybe even 8 if he reunited his old power-pop band Blackjack.

They once opened for Ozzy Osbourne, you know. Yeah. Think about that, metalheads.


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23 comments
TJ
TJ

I love the Moontower, awesome place for a brew and a exotic dog, but can't stand all the Hall and Oates, Spandau Ballet, MOR shit etc... they play. It's a joke right? Nobody really likes that stuff do they?

Josh Webster
Josh Webster

Looks like this article struck a nerve. Really, who wants to defend Frampton? That's fucking Dad Rock at it's worst.

Reginaldwam3
Reginaldwam3

An asinine post, for the reason stated below... Most of these artists are supremely talented, and timeless. The points made here speak much more to the state of your 'hipsterdom' than the musicians denoted in this callow list.

CraigHlavaty
CraigHlavaty

I don't understand. All these artists are cool. Nothing about any of them is uncool. I have seen most of them live, except for Denver, Frampton, Simon, and Richie. This is all in the eye of the beholder.

Supak Ryan
Supak Ryan

Every single artist mentioned in the article is great, great, great. Michael Bolton has an *awesome* voice, and he's another super "white" guy (like Phil Collins and the members of Steely Dan) that a lot of black people love.

What would really blow my mind is if Kenny G/soprano sax Smooth Jazz became a hipster thing.

rs

mamacita
mamacita

Whenever I want to demonstrate my uncoolness, I say, "You'll pry my Carole King records from my cold, dead hands." Guess I'll have to change that to my other fave, Percy Sledge.

Sheesh!
Sheesh!

WTF?

Lenny Bruce was a hipster.

I recognize that the author of this article wasn't the person who started using "hipster" to refer to these latter-day "unconventional poseurs". But the author also was ignorant enough to propagate the misuse of the word. Journalism FAIL!

radar
radar

So at the beginning of this article, you're just telling us why these artists would have hipster cred, but by the end, you yourself are telling us how cool Brian Wilson is. In trying to satirize your subject, you became it. Interesting thing about hipsters: no one who is one actually thinks that they are one.

The reason that the music of Taylor, King, Wilson, et al, is being discovered by new generations (and will continue to be) is that it is well crafted and pretty damn timeless. While some people will try to decide whether its cool or not, those who can simply appreciate good music won't have to struggle.

doobeedoo
doobeedoo

"the nation's venues of the nation", ...."It's a nebulous, ill-defined word, is hipster." this article could use some basic could use some editing. ;-)

circeherbivora
circeherbivora

I was kinda hoping to see Stan Rogers here. Weird, I know. *sigh*

Not a hipster for liking this
Not a hipster for liking this

You got to be kidding me with this list?All these artists can still be heard on the radio daily....

Flannel, Plastic Cameras, ridiculous facial hair, and ridiculously styled glasses....

But really? Stevie Nicks....Peter Frampton? Paul Simon, his songs are still used in movies and other pop culture points

Denny Angelle
Denny Angelle

Twenty years from now, somebody (Rocks Off Jr.?) will write the same thing about Gaga, Bieber and Taylor.

Jeff
Jeff

I really love this list and the idea behind it, but you might have considered Neil Diamond, Air Supply and Barry Manilow before King, Wilson and Simon. Tapestry and Pet Sounds may be two of the greatest pop records ever recorded and Paul Simon is, well, Paul Simon. Otherwise, killer.

Damonruckel
Damonruckel

Brian Wilson and Paul Simon have always been and will always be cool....

Tankeray
Tankeray

Is this a joke? Except for Michael Bolton, all of those artists have always been huge with everybody.

John Seaborn Gray
John Seaborn Gray

You must've been there on a bad night. I've been there multiple times when it was nothing but Motown.

rocksoffsr
rocksoffsr

Too late for Neil, Jeff. His Rick Rubin-aided "rediscovery" is what inspired this list.

Doc
Doc

Oh sure, I remember back in the early 90's when grunge exploded how much everyone loved Lionel Richie.

Mike
Mike

Wasn't that right about that time when Faith No More covered Easy?

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