Lyrics That Make Terrible Facebook Status Updates

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DTF for sure.
Ever seen a nonsensical, irrelevant Britney Spears or Drake lyric on your Facebook news feed that made you cringe? We have - about 56, and the workday isn't even over yet. Some lyrics should stay on the radio and off the Facebook circuit.

Perhaps instead of simply asking, "What's on your mind?" they should be more specific and ask this follow up question: "Is that what's really on your mind? Do you really have anything substantial to contribute to our online community?"

Here's a list of some radio releases, album cuts, and alt-chick classics that have, unfortunately, manifested themselves onto our news feeds at various times.

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Keri Hilson, "Pretty Girl Rock": "Pretty as a picture, sweeter than a Swisha/ Don't hate me 'cuz I'm beautiful"

This status is indicative of some possible self-esteem issues. The person who posts this probably has a "well-behaved women rarely make history" quote on their About Me section. Nobody is sure who said that first, by the way; sometimes it's Marilyn Monroe and sometimes Eleanor Roosevelt.

We propose that the original source was just a lonely chick who wanted an excuse to behave badly. Bless you, you dirty Aristotle. "Dirty Aristotle"... that actually has a nice ring to it.


Rihanna, "S&M": "Sticks and stones may break my bones but chains and whips excite me"

Bottom line: Whoever posts any part of "S&M" is DTF. This song is absolutely frightening.


Alicia Keys feat. Drake, "Unthinkable": "Life is what we make it and a chance is like a picture/ It'd be nice if you'd just take it"

SO CRYPTIC. This is the infamous subliminal status update. Typical of Drake's lines, this sounds extremely brainless without a beat or the assistance of Alicia Keys.


Black Eyed Peas, "I Gotta Feeling": "I got a feeling that tonight's gonna be a good nighttttttttttttttttt"

We had to extend the last word because this is a necessary attribute of the obvious "going out with my girls" pre-game status, the one that comes before the subsequent "LAJKDFLDRUNK" update. On a more positive note, this is probably a good candidate for a 4 a.m. meet-up.


Kanye West, "Monster": "I'm living in the future so my present is the past/ My presence is a present, kiss my ass"

Understand that only Kanye can use this line. It's almost too cheesy for anyone else to try.


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7 comments
Android Phones
Android Phones

I love all these songs and I think they are inspirational. Unthinkable is one of my all-time favorite. Rihanna makes any song look sexy and fetishes are great for spicing up people’s love life. I think Rihanna has a foot and shoe fetish because she flaunts her feet and shoes on every occasion but she does have pretty feet. Rihanna is so popular all over Europe.

Lucas
Lucas

Can't wait to to get drinks with MYGIRLS!!!!

Misscatnipmartini
Misscatnipmartini

hipsters can fall in luv too kinda makes my day.*sniff* poor little hipsters

sozavac
sozavac

can't beat "sink your teeth right through my bones, baby"i just posted that as my status

Fayza
Fayza

I AM bulletproof this time. I tried it. SO THERE.

Kyle
Kyle

I post lyrics that move me on my Facebook status all the time, and I will never stop. That is a nice selection of bad lyrics choices, though.

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