Friday Night: Acro-Cats At Super Happy Fun Land
When Aftermath initially saw the event invitation for the "Cat Circus" at Super Happy Fun Land on Friday, we didn't know how to react. We thought to ourselves, "This could be an actualization of one of our reoccurring dreams, or it could be a total letdown." We decided to find out anyways.
Worst case scenario: We could still say we'd been to a kitty circus. We're going to preface this piece by assuring you that there are no "meow" puns. After this weekend, we won't ever try to incorporate that sound into general conversation again.
We pulled up at Super Happy Fun Land for the Acro-Cats' performance and noticed a line coming out of the door. It was only 10 p.m. and SHFL was already standing room only. We paid our 12 dollars - we'll revisit this outrage later-got a beer - and sat down in the front below the stage with some ostensibly hip high school kids.
That was the crowd, essentially. Hipsters love kitty-cats; we're still waiting for a sociological experiment to emerge from that relationship.
The opening act included an assortment of circus rodents including rats, gerbils, a hedgehog (or a badger, we're not sure). For the main act, the cats' trainer, Samantha, separated the felines into two groups - outdoors and indoors. She brought them onstage separately to do regular tricks that normal cats do every day - we have one, so we've seen it.
They jumped from stool to stool and through hoops, wove their way through an elevated obstacle course, and climbed up a tall fixture. Most of the cats were having a hard time minding the trainer; maybe they were distracted or maybe it was an off night, but we were not exactly captivated.
Samantha continued to pitch her training books and personalized kitty buttons throughout the show, even mentioning that one of her cats was sad because no one ever bought his merchandise. Aftermath had a hard time believing that after she pointed out that they are all on a diet of steak and fish.
Those cats are eating better than we are, so why would we buy their buttons and risk the chance of being single for the rest of our lives? When Samantha trains her cats to answer the phone, do laundry, and make coffee, we'll consider it.
After the cats decided they were done performing, Samantha set up a small bowling lane using a wooden wedge and plastic bowling pins. She brought out a hen and set her at the top of the wedge, putting the ball in front of her. She pecked the ball, sent it down the slant, and got a strike.