Turbo Fruits: Now That's A Band Name!
Rocks Off likes Turbo Fruits a lot. It's a loud, rock-roll-icky, semi-glam group out of Nashville that is more than capable of using sick sounds to seduce your mom and making you watch.
Photos courtesy Tell All Your Friends PR
Frankly, that image - using various mothers - is all that runs through our head listening to the Fruits' new single, "Where the Stars Don't Shine." We think they would want it that way. They're also putting together a rock and roll cruise featuring some of the nation's top garage bands. Not as thought-provoking as the Gothic Cruise, perhaps, but it still sounds like a wild time.
The question before the court of the judge with one f, though, is why call such a dirty little rock act something so incredibly pleasant as Turbo Fruits? It sounds like a sugary lunch treat. We grabbed bandleader Jonas Stein by the lapels and screamed at him until he told us where the name came from.
"I was playing a show with my old band, Be Your Own Pet, in Scotland and I was messin' with a 'fruit-themed' slot machine," says Stein, smoothing his dubs from our grabbage.
"I slipped the coin in the slot, pulled the lever and the lights landed on 'Turbo Fruit.' The only time I ever hit the jackpot on a slot machine. I then knew I was destined to start a band called 'Turbo Fruits!'
Well... we have to admit that placating the fickle fuckhead that is fate by naming your awesome band after one of the few times all the prophecies aligned for you is probably a good idea
Very well, but the name still conjures up all kind of connotations. Dirty connotations. Stein told us that all it really means to him are the terms "super happy" and "getting lucky," but if you walk up to a stranger and start shouting, "TURBO FRUITS" at them they're going to be thinking about something other than a slot machine payout.
"What turbos up a fruit, may we ask?" we asked without waiting to be told we may.
"Dildos and anal lube," Stein replied. Frankly, we had some problems with this answer. How exactly can you combine fruit, dildos and anal lube? So we typed those things into Google Image Search. Go on. Do it. Be sure to turn the Safesearch off.