The Alphabet Song: Not Enough Swearing

​Fatawesome is a band of incredible bastards who know how to make you laugh and bang your head at the same time. Last time we checked in with them, they had laid down a rap tribute to the Oregon Trail that had us telling people "My Titties is sick," for the rest of the week. Now they've gone and updated that old, static classic, "The Alphabet Song."

We all know it, and it forms a very important part of your childhood, but wouldn't we all be better served by learning our letters and the latitudes of cool at the same time? That's what Fatawesome has done. Your kids will certainly get the heads up on their letters, numbers, and utterances of the word "fuck" over all their lesser peers.

We caught up briefly with the band as they were exiting a bathroom and got a chance to ask them about their new song as they were zipping up.

Rocks Off: What exactly was it about the original alphabet song you hated?

Fatawesome: Not enough swears and almost impossible to dance to.

RO: What effect do you think your version will have on education?

FA: We hope that our efforts will help close the ever-widening gap between schools and dance clubs.

RO: Do you plan to release a version in other languages to reach a wider audience?

FA: We'd love to work with Bjork on an Icelandic version.

RO: What other lessons do you plan on teaching in future songs?

FA: How to use a urinal without pulling your pants down to your ankles.

And with that, they walked into the sunset.

Jef With One F is the author of The Bible Spelled Backwards Does Not Change the Fact That You Cannot Kill David Arquette and Other Things I Learned In the Black Math Experiment, available now.