The Beatles: Eight Ways To Spruce Up Their iTunes Catalog

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In what was undoubtedly momentous news to the hundreds of music fans out there who haven't already a) copied their CDs of Rubber Soul and Revolver onto their hard drives, or b) illegally downloaded their entire collection, Apple made the entire Beatles catalog available on iTunes yesterday.

Frankly, we're a little put off by the fact that Steve Jobs never bothered to consult us about this colossal event. After all, didn't we present a list of the band's worst songs a few months back? As obvious experts in all things Lennon-McCartney, Rocks Off should have been the first institution approached for input. Especially since there are plenty of ways to, how shall we put it, spruce up the Fab Four's playlist.

Here are a few changes we'd suggest to make the Beatles a little more palatable to today's discerning listeners.

1. Trim The Fat

In 1968, the coda of "Hey Jude" was praised for its effectiveness in communicating a message of harmony and love. But this is the 21st century, where you're lucky if we don't hit the Skip button halfway through a guitar solo. Stick with the meat of the tune - "Take a sad song and make it better" might help boost your spirits during extended periods of unemployment, after all - and drop the "na na na nas."

And that 40 second E-major at the end of "A Day in the Life?" Gone. We have reality programming to watch, damn it.


2. Remove the Bummer Parts Of "We Can Work It Out"

We understand John provided a more introspective counterpoint to Paul's pop sensibilities, but how enthusiastic are you going to be about reaching compromise when you realize "life is very short?" What's the point of going on? It was this dawning awareness of the hopelessness of it all that put Paul in the grave in 1966.



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