Cage Match: KISS Vs. Fiskadoro

​Ladies and gentlemen, tomorrow night a battle for your musical soul will be waged in our fair city. In this corner, wearing make-up, black leather, and underpants made of your money, the knights in Satan's service, KISS!

And in this corner, weighing in at 600 lbs, the masters of the jungle chant, the punk rock men from another planet, Fiskadoro!

Cue the entrance music, this is the Cage Match!

Rocks Off: Richard Kimball, can you tell us and all of Houston why the people should forgo KISS and attend your concert at Notsuoh on Friday, September 17?

RK: Growing up in New Jersey and upstate New York I was not a fan of music. I wanted to be, and I'd search the radio dial in vain for something with an edge. Rock music was a complete joke to me. This was epitomized by the overbearing music of KISS. They were everywhere and I could not stand them.

Luckily, I soon came upon punk rock and post-punk and finally found that music I was searching for. The music we make as Fiskadoro comes completely out of this discovery. Yet, after all these years, it came as a surprise to learn we were playing the same night as KISS.

This leads me to wonder about the differences between KISS and Fiskadoro. If you didn't know any better and felt you had to choose between the KISS show and Fiskadoro/Thou Shalt Not Kill..Except/The Delta Block show at Notsuoh, which one should you attend?

Fiskadoro, "Drive"

• Gene Simmons of KISS stars in a reality show where he plays the part of the put upon dad/businessman/elderly pop metal guy. If FSKD had a reality show it would be equal parts vegan cooking show/post-punk primer/indie film criticism.
• KISS are establishment capitalists. 2/3 of FSKD are unemployed.
• KISS has the KISS Army. A well-worn FSKD slogan is "we vote no war."
• The KISS show costs approximately one gazillion dollars to attend. The FSKD/TSNK...E/Delta Block show is free.
• KISS makes music to sell consumer goods and shopping channel trinkets. FSKD makes music to soundtrack the death of capitalism. We have nothing to sell.
• KISS dress up as storm troopers in Nazi clown gear. FSKD, while always looking sharp, buy their clothes at the Salvation Army store in Freeport TX.
• KISS is a traditional bass/guitar/drums lineup. Not only does FSKD use a drum machine, but Travis Kerschen's instrument in the band is Kaoss Pad.
• KISS is a boys' club made up of boring old men who get miles of plastic surgery yet wear clown make-up on stage. Both FSKD and the Delta Block have a girl in the band.
• FSKD supports over the air free community radio like KTRU. As far as I can tell KISS supports nothing but seeing how high their bank accounts can grow.

The choice seems clear to me which show people [should] attend.

RO: Well there you have it. Mr. Simmons, do you have a response?

Gene Simmons (from "Cold Gin"): My heater's broke and I'm so tired.

RO: We're sorry, Mr. Simmons. Maybe you should lie down here on this pile of money and Todd MacFarlane action figures.

Fiskadoro plays Notsuoh with Thou Shalt Not Kill... Except and Delta Block on Friday September 17.

KISS plays the Cynthia Woods Mitchell Pavilion with The Academy is... and The Envy the same night.