Saturday Night: Young Jeezy And Slim Thug At Arena Theatre
Wanna see more pictures from the concert? Right this way.
8:34 p.m.: The PR people said that if the media wasn't here by 8:30, then they wouldn't be allowed in. So we got here on time. And now we want to die. Showing up to a Saturday night rap concert at 8:30 is like turning on a porno and not skipping through the first seven minutes. There isn't shit going on right now, just a couple of men and women walking around not being naked or interesting.
9:26: MC Kane is on stage. That guy is the host of everything everywhere in Houston. If there's rap music playing, you can reasonably Kane to show up. He's probably hosting another event at another venue right now. He shows up to events the way Scarface doesn't show up to events. Love that.
9:29: Kane has five girls up on stage with him now. He asks them to introduce themselves. The names they give: Platinum, Paris, Lady D, China Doll and London. We'll just go ahead and assume those aren't their real names. We'll also go ahead and assume that they'll all be topless in about 3 hours with guys throwing money at them.
9:33: Slim Thug has just come motoring out. J-Dawg, his second in command, is right behind him. Fun.
9:37: Yeesh. J-Dawg is a monster on stage. He's a very believable gangster. Slim Thug is fairly intimidating, but a large part of that is due to the fact that he's 6'6". J-Dawg, however, is a normal-sized human, and is still as intimidating as fuck. It's really, really something to see. He's like the bad guy in Inglorious Basterds, except he probably doesn't hate Jews as much.
9:37:04: By the way, are you supposed to say "Jews," or is "Jewish" the term that's supposed to be used? Whatev. You say potato, we say Jewtato.
9:40: Thankfully, in addition to a drummer, Slim and J brought but a few people on stage with them. Still, if your job in the entourage is to stand on stage calmly with your hands tucked behind your back, maybe you don't need to be up there?
9:45: Slim Thug's unintentional wit and wisdom, which he displays regularly on Twitter, is firmly on display tonight. Referring to what he feels is an inordinate amount of disloyal people near or around him, he drops this nugget: "There's some real bitch niggas and bitch bitches out there." Bitch bitches? That's excellent. Or rather, that's excellent excellence.
9:46: Slim's performing "Associates." Would've been cool if Ro had shown up. Still, good stuff. The most unassailable line in the song: "If you don't fuck with me, don't fuck with me. It's not confusing." There's really no arguing that.
10:00: J-Dawg is crushing "First 48," the brilliantly constructed and executed single that managed to leapfrog "Ridin' On 4's" for the "Best J-Dawg Song Of All Time" title. The drummer is airtight in his translation. The crowd is going yo-yo. Many of the women in the crowd are singing along.
Even the somber security guard near the stage who appeared to be in a sort of eyes-open coma for the early part of the evening is mouthing the words. It seems pretty obvious that, so long as his debut album is solid, J-Dawg will soon add his name to the list of guys that you have to mention when you're talking about Houston rap. Good showing.
10:00:04: By the way, a girl that knows the words to a J-Dawg song is no less frightening than a girl that can recall passages from The Satanic Bible. It's just impossible to be petite and feminine singing "There's a bunch of mutha fuckin' killas outside your front door!"