Which Rappers Would You Fight?
Some rappers happen to be thoughtful, intelligent people. Every Monday that isn't a national holiday Rocks Off will have some of them here discussing issues relevant to their culture.
This Week's Panel: Fat Tony, Yung Redd, Candi Redd, Preemo, Ram of Optimo Radio
Not Invited: Ganksta NIP, because we already know his answer: All of them.
This Week's Prompt: This past Thursday at a Kid Cudi show in Ohio, a fan rushed onstage and grabbed at him. Security promptly threw the fan off stage, but Cudi came running off the stage and (presumably) tried to fight the kid before security held him back. We had no idea Kid Cudi was such a thug. If you had told us to guess beforehand what his response would be to the situation, we would've gone with "sit Indian-style on the stage and start weeping."
Photo illustration by John Seaborn Gray
So that got us to thinking: If you had to fight two rappers - and you absolutely have to do this; your family will all die or whatever if you don't - who would you pick? And explain why. For example:
"I'd fight T.I. and Drake. T.I. puts on a tough front, but I'm almost certain he can't benchpress 100 lbs. There's no way I'd lose a fight to a guy that can't bench my youngest sister. I'd fight Drake because he's from Canada. And because he's Drake."
Fat Tony: I'd fight rap show promoters before I hit another rap artist. They're all the same, so it's no use naming them individually. Just pick the two most corrupt outta any big city and let's go at it like WCW.
Rap Round Table: Boo. Rappers, sir.
FT: Can I fight journalists? I'd take on you and Kurt Loder.
I'd fight Kid Cudi for fucking up and being caught with a substance that's worth a felony; totally a bad move on his part. He's gotta be more careful. I'd also fight KRS-One for bitchin' about hip-hop so much, but then apologize cause I'm sure a nation of hip-hop heads would be out for me. I like both of these guys music, by the way. They just need discipline.
Candi Redd: I would fight Surreal, Karma and Sugar cause they ain't no real Twitta Gs [laughs].
Yung Redd: I wouldn't bother fighting any rapper. You don't get points for that. Being raised in Sunnyside - one of worst hoods in Houston - I've learned to fight when you must, and no rapper is believable for me to engage in conflict.
RRT: So, basically you're scared of Kid Cudi then? Cool. Got it [laughs].
YR: I don't fear nothing.
Ram: I would have to say Mase, for being another hypocritical preacher, and.... I guess Soulja Boy for just making the game seem like a joke. On commercial television the hip-hop community looks like a buncha clowns.
Note: Ram originally wrote out a 413-word response. However, he didn't list one single rapper by name, instead basically saying he wanted to fight the entire planet. And he said K-Rino's Annihilation of the Evil Machine would be the soundtrack.
Preemo: Look, my name is Preemo, which is pronounced like the Spanish word "primo," which means "cousin" in English. I'm everybody's cousin and that's how people see me. The day I start fighting rappers I lose my persona and dilute my brand.
But if I had to fight two rappers, the first would be Roy Jones Jr. for not sticking to his day job. Back in 2003, when I started making some noise [and] signed to an L.A. record label, [I] had to compete with a damn boxer for radio spins. I'd also fight him because I'd get paid for it. One million dollars, one round, because that's all I'd last.
The second rapper I'd fight is T.I. for coming out and saying he is the King of the South. He is a hella talented dude and belongs in the hip-hop hall of fame, but Scarface has been doing it longer, harder and better than anyone in the South. He put the South on the map. When the "Best That Ever Did It" in Jay-Z talks about his inspirations, he talks about Scarface, not T.I. T.I.'s mind is playing tricks on him.
The King of the South crown belongs in Houston, and that's something worth fighting for. And I'd want to feel better about being stomped by Roy Jones.