Paul Wall All Smiles At Album-Release Party

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Photos by Shea Serrano
4:41 p.m.: Ack. Driving from the far south side of town to the far north side of town between 4:15 and 6:15 p.m. has to be what it felt like to drive from one side of Texas to the other by stagecoach. This is the worst. Hopefully we packed enough canned meats and fresh drinking water for the trip.

5:15: Traffic, traffic, traffic. Jesus. Who designed the highway system in Houston? It was probably the same guy that designed that Baby Tangle toy. No joke, did you know that Houston has the second-worst highway bottleneck in the entire country? Google it.

5:41: You remember that scene at the beginning of Vertical Limit where Chris O'Donnell is climbing the mountain with his dad and his sister and all of sudden they're climbing lines get all effed up, and O'Donnell has to decide between trying to save his dad and possibly killing all three of them or cutting his dad loose and definitely killing him but saving himself and his sister? That's what traversing Houston traffic at rush hour is like. Kill me now, kill me now, kill me now...

6:08: Made it. Rejoice.

6:15: The line to meet Paul is about 50 people deep right now. Is it cool to say "deep"? It feels kind of weird. Let's try that one again...

6:15:04: The line to meet Paul is about 50 people long. Yes, yes. That's much better.

6:19: Oh, hey, did you know that Greenspoint Mall's nickname is Gunspoint Mall? Splendid.

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6:22: J-Mac from The Box is here. He's wearing a 97.9 The Box basketball jersey. It's black with red lettering and red stripes down the side. His shorts are solid red. His shoes are solid red too. If somebody's wardrobe is 80 percent red, you can bet it's gonna get a mention.

6:28: There are a bunch of fliers all around the store. One is for some no-name rapper's CD. It advertises several smash hits that you've never heard of. People are way too okay with musicians throwing around the "smash hit" tag. It's not a smash hit just because you say it is. You know what? Never mind. Fuck it, from now on we are going to refer to our penis as being a smash hit.

6:30: Has anyone ever seriously woke up and been like, "Man, today I want to buy a copy of the In The Mix soundtrack, but only if it's a used copy." Fuckin' Music Depot is the best.

6:33: Paul Wall is here. Cool. Some guy from the store makes a brief intro - Ladies and gentlemen, Houston's finest, Paul Wall is in the building, or something like that-- then Wall gets to signing stuff.

6:36: Best weird fact you wouldn't have expected to learn at a Paul Wall meet and greet: high-end memory foam mattress can cost upwards of $5,000.

6:37: Man, Wall is a nice dude. He's signing everything, even for people who didn't buy a copy of the CD. When we have the meet and greet signing on the day of our album release (coming shortly, by the way) there is no way we are signing anything for anyone that hasn't purchased a copy of it. "What's that you say, small poor child? You want me to sign a poster for you because you can't afford a CD? Okay. Better yet, hey, how about this: fuck off. Security!!!" That's how that's gonna go.

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