Last Night: Trae Day At Northwest Mall

Photos by Marco Torres/ Check out a slideshow
Brandi Garcia and Trae
Trae Day
Northwest Mall
July 22, 2010

3:36 p.m.: Some dark, menacing clouds are off in the horizon. After everything that's happened this past year - the ban, the last-minute venue cancellation, etc - is there any way that it won't rain today? It sort of has to, right? Maybe it represents some sort of figurative cleansing, a washing away of all of the dirty things that have happened. Or maybe Trae just has terrible luck? Let's go with the first one.

3:48: In addition to the Ferris wheel, jumpy houses, inflatable rock-climbing wall and train available for free today, they're also doing immunizations. Nice. Hey, son. You wanna ride a ferris wheel today?! "YEAH!" And then bounce in a jumpy house?! "YEAH!" And then climb a rock wall?! "YEAH!" And then ride a train?! "YEAH!" And then get your annual immunizations?! "YEAH! Wait. What? Fuck."

3:48:04: By the way, have you ever looked at a Ferris wheel that was set up in a parking lot and thought, "Yeah, that looks safe, that looks like something I want to get in"?

4:01: Ewww. There's a guy here who has a tattoo on his neck of what appear to be lips, only it's not a very good tattoo, so it looks more like ringworm. Tattoos are one of those things where you should probably just fork over the money to make sure it's right.

4:18: The two most interesting subplots for the day:

1. Given the way last year's Trae Day ended, people are going to measure the success of this one by whether or not somebody gets shot. And that's totally weird. Imagine dating a really attractive girl that just got out of an abusive relationship. It's kind of like that. As long as you don't bash her face in, she's gonna think you're great. You don't have to open doors for her or tell her nice things, you just have to not beat the shit out of her. "Did Somebody Get Shot?" is an extremely low success indicator for an event with such grand potential. We're not sure the gap between the two has ever been so wide.

2. This absolutely can not end in any sort of violence. If it does, it very well will alter not only the future of all the forthcoming Trae Days, but also Trae's career. He's still feeling the effect of the fallout from last year. Double that, and it's an unenviable amount of dirt to shovel away.

4:21: Kuntry Boy DJ is performing. He's a very screamy fellow.

4:30: Another opening act is on stage now. He's a tiny, tiny fellow with long, long braids (or dreads). It's probably not a good sign for your Tough Rapper Credibility if the first thing we think about when we see you get on stage is how we need to make sure and re-enroll our sons in their Gymboree class.

4:32: He gets to performing some song about girls hopping up on his dick like a bunny and one of the guys that's been playing MC cuts it off immediately. He tells everyone that if they don't have any clean songs, or presumably at least songs that don't involve dicks and bunnies, that they can't perform. Great move. Love to see that.

4:53: And there's the rain.

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