FAIL: Prince, Johnny Rotten, Too Short, Auto-Tune

Photos by John Seaborn Gray

​Internet Not As "Over" As Prince Had Hoped: Remember last week when Prince said the Internet was "over," and that was why he's now giving copies of his new CD away for free whenever you buy a copy of that thriving and relevant medium, a British newspaper?

Well, enterprising Englishmen are now putting those albums up for sale online for as much as 13 pounds - approximately $330 American dollars, if our math is right - in a sterling example of why you should never try to go against the internet. Prince said he was releasing his album this way because doing so would cause him "no stress."

We can't help but wonder if that's still true, or if he's now moping around the house eating rice-based ice cream and weeping softly into his zebra-skin pillow.

Johnny Rotten Turns Down Possible Collaboration with Gorillaz: Some of you folks who grew up as punk rockers - and didn't have the good taste to be in the Clash camp like we were - will no doubt find this difficult to accept, but it's time for you to understand: Johnny Rotten is a fucking idiot.

​Every time we read an interview with the man, the drivel spewing from his mouth-hole makes us cringe. He says whatever occurs to him to say at the time, regardless of whether or not it's true or if it blatantly contradicts things he has done or said in the past. His most recent example: when he was asked to explain why he turned down the Gorillaz when asked to collaborate, this is what he said.

"I've worked with many so-called famous people over the years but it's never been for any deliberate financial motivation. If I did it wouldn't be a business phone call followed by a management agreement and then for an album manufactured and marketed as to what the current popular trends were."

So it was for purely artistic reasons that he changed Public Image Ltd. from a weird, experimental post-punk band into a radio-friendly New Wave act? And then worked with Tower of Power and recorded a song for the film Point Break? And then re-formed the Sex Pistols for what was called the Filthy Lucre tour, which existed solely for the purpose of gathering the money the Sex Pistols missed out on the first time they came to America? And then re-recorded "Anarchy In the UK" for use in Guitar Hero?

All those things are better than appearing on a Gorillaz album? Christ, Johnny.