Just like the Stones said, "Summer's here and the time is right for fighting in the street, boy." Only the best social insurrections and riots happen in the heat of the summer. It makes us wonder why Houston hasn't had more angry, heat-stoked street scraps, seeing that your testicles melt like Cadbury eggs in your pantaloons after standing in the sun for two minutes.
It's not like any of our sports teams will be fueling the fires of any fan-happy riots. Though when the Astros win, we sometimes want to bash in shop windows, tip over cars and light them on fire in celebration. 18-34 baby! See you in October!
We sought out the ten best music videos to feature riots, real or otherwise, with the help of our Twitter folks (thanks @hprocksof
f-keteers) and also did some tireless digging ourselves, which really entailed playing on YouTube for two hours and trying not to watch this video
too many times.
Guns N' Roses, "Welcome To The Jungle":
There was a time when Axl and Slash could start riots with their music, but now not so much. Axl looks like a drag king and Slash is just a hired gun now, but no less awesome.
Smashing Pumpkins, "Bullet With Butterfly Wings":
We were never sure what was going in this video. Were the mud people in purgatory and the Pumpkins were the house band? Then they go nuts on one dude and we got confused.
New Radicals, "You Get What You Give":
Full disclosure: In high school, we totally dressed like lead singer Gregg Alexander. We even had a shitty bucket hat. Ten years on, mall riots would anger us more than excite.
We wish Beavis and Butthead were still around to see this video, because all we can hear is Beavis screaming "Yes!" when everyone goes apeshit.
Jay-Z, "Run This Town":
Let's be honest, Rihanna, Kanye and Jay-Z would be awful riot leaders. Stopping to put on lotion, looking in the mirror, fixing their shoes. And you all know Rihanna would be a pill to deal with too.