Commiserating The Lakers Win With Five Predictions About Bun's Forthcoming LP, Trill OG
Welcome back to Five Spot. Every Friday, we'll examine a recent bit of music news and, albeit sometimes awkwardly, tie it to a bit of Houston rap. We'll incorporate the number five in there somewhere. Send tips to email@example.com.
The Lakers won the NBA Championship last night, which means we'll be listening to Kid Cudi all weekend because we're sad and that's what you're supposed to do when you're sad.
For certain, the Lakers are the worst. Here's what we'd like to do: We'd like to invent a time machine, right. And once it's finished, we'd hop into it and fly to the year 2152. By that time -- hopefully -- scientists will have come up with a TV that, rather than just shows you a sporting game, it creates some sort of space wormhole that allows it to operate more like you're looking through a window into the actual game.
You'll be able to smell the inside of the arena. You'll be able to correspond with fans at the game. You'll even be able to reach in and order nachos or whatever. It'll be amazing.
But we're not going to do any of that. We're going to sit there, waiting patiently for the opportune moment. Then, right when Kobe Bryant is about to shoot some really important free throws (you're probably like, "Wait, if you travel that far into the future, Kobe will be long dead by then, this story makes no sense," to which we respond, "Don't be such a nitpicking a-hole, jerk"), we're going to whip a battery right at him and then hop back into the time machine and come home and giggle.
Booyah. Rocks Off: 1, Kobe: 0.
Which segues perfectly into this: the artwork and tracklisting for Bun's Trill OG hit the net this week. (Do people still call it The Net, or is it only us and Sandra Bullock that still do that? Whatev. Doesn't matter.) And at first glance, Trill OG looks solid. Hit the jump to see five really important predictions about it.
Prediction #1: The "Oh, That's Why You Haven't Retired Yet" Track
Bun will go bananas on "Put It Down" featuring Drake. You know who Bun is? Bun is old Michael Jordan. For the most part, Old Michael Jordan kept it in cruise control. But when one of the young fellas tried to step up, he'd kick it up a few notches and cut their legs off at the knees. That's what Bun will do here.
Prediction #2: The "Oh, Wait, I Forgot You Were A Hip-Hop Head" Track
If you ever have the opportunity to talk to Bun, one thing will immediately become apparent: Bun knows a lot of shit. About a lot of shit. Which is why it's not at all a surprise that he has a Raekwon feature on here. Slickster, he is.
Prediction #3: The "Hate It Or Love It" Track
There will be one song on this album that half of his fan base will think is brilliant, while the other half will think it buffoonish. That's what happens when you put 20+ years in the game. "Lights, Camera, Action" will be that track.
Prediction #4: The "Oh, C'mon, Not Again" Track
There's always at least one track on every solo Bun album (both of them, anyway) that makes you just a little bit mad. On Trill it was "Hold U Down" ("I'm Ballin'" was right there too). On II Trill it was "Good II Me." And on Trill O.G. it will be "All A Dream." How do we know? Because Letoya Luckett is on it. Separate, they're a good act and a great act. Together, they're a #smh..
Prediction #5: The "Oh, There It Is" Track
Not even Bun is above pulling the "Don't Forget I'm From Houston" move. He's done so here enlisting Thugga for "Ridin' Slow," which will almost certainly be a dragging, bass-heavy car thumper. Also, Thugga will be very good on it. He has to be one of the most consistent features in all of Houston. He'll never outshine the starring artist, but he'll always give a good showing. There's something to be said for consistency.
Have a trill weekend. Thanks for your continued support.