New York Craigslisters were abuzz, ABUZZ we tell you, when a posting
went out for... Titanic 2: Mermaid Saviors
. The ad reads as follows:
Megamonolith Pictures is holding an open casting call for TITANIC 2: MERMAID SAVIORS, a sequel to the Academy Award-winning 1997 blockbuster TITANIC, on July 1st and 2nd. The film begins moments after the sinking of the Titanic. All who have drowned are brought back to life by a futuristic race of mermaids, called the Mantocks, who welcome the humans to their underwater paradise.
Soon after, JACK DAWSON is elected king of the underwater humans. DAWSON requests that all humans be returned above water, a request that is denied by KING MANTROCK. The humans are slowly brainwashed into worshiping their mermaid saviors. Meanwhile, the sunken TITANIC has become a haunted underwater wasteland inhabited by RAGGARO and his band of mermaid pirates.
Will the humans ever free themselves from their mermaid slavery? Will the mermaid pirates wage war on Mantock?
Now, breathe into a paper bag and calm down, because this is not real. It's what we call a joke, though we admit we would totally see this sequel. But, why not play along? Here's the perfect follow-up to Celine Dion's "My Heart Will Go On" which is as likely to feature in the movie as the movie is to be made.