OMG: The Five Most Embarrassing Songs In Our Library

Categories: Lists, WTF Island
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If, like Rocks Off, you're an archivist (read: pack rat), then you've collected quite a few songs on your listening medium of choice. Hopefully you've done so legally, but this is the internet, so who are we kidding, really. However it happened, you've almost certainly got a few tracks that go beyond a simple "guilty pleasure", songs you can't believe you like and would be mortified if anyone saw them associated with you in any way.

Luckily, Rocks Off was born without the portion of the brain that allows one to feel shame (and also the part that regulates reluctance toward public nudity), so we're going to run through some of the most humiliating songs we've collected over the years.

Soho, "Hippychick"

Maybe we first liked this song because we heard it as a child before we were ever introduced to The Smiths' "How Soon Is Now?," which it samples, but that's no excuse, because to this day we'll jam this song and sing along to it. It's bad. It was hugely popular back in the day, but it's never, ever played on the radio now, and there's a reason. It sounds like something Neneh Cherry would have rejected from her first album, you know, before she embraced her bohemian roots and started writing songs that weren't dreadful. And yet, we like it. And we're not sorry.

Crazy Town, "Butterfly"

We used music-editing software to strip lead singer Shady's horrible vocals from this song and, sure enough, what's left is not bad. It's a good beat, a catchy bassline and even some fairly atmospheric guitar work. Everybody rags on this song (and on the band, come to think of it), but as long as you take out the Durst-inspired lily-white rapping, it's a decent listen. But try convincing your friends of this without at least one of them suggesting that you like to have sex with farm animals.

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Bumblebeez 81, "Pony Ride"

Every now and then we come across a song so bad it fascinates us, we listen to it over and over, and eventually come to genuinely like it. This is what happened with "Pony Ride." We're not sure how it happened, but this droning, monotonous, nearly fucking tone-deaf song got deep inside our head one day while hanging out at our University of Houston dorm, and we weren't able to move past it.

Sometimes we listen to bands like The Frogs, Wesley Willis, and early Ween to exult in the awkward terribleness and cheer ourselves up with the brilliant weirdness of it all, and Bumblebeez 81 is a similar thing, except we don't think these guys were kidding like the Frogs or crazy like Wesley Willis. We think this was really the best they could do. Really, that makes us appreciate it all the more.


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