Welcome back to Five Spot. Every Friday, we'll examine a recent bit of music news and, albeit sometimes awkwardly, tie it to a bit of Houston rap. We'll incorporate the number five in there somewhere. Send tips to firstname.lastname@example.org.
A lot of the time, it's easy to pick what to write about for this section. Sometimes the posts just sort of write themselves.
When Bun B shouted out that blog that had catalogued all of those obscure UGK features
, that was a no-brainer. Getting with the guy that ran that site seemed like something that had to be done. Or when that copy of Z-Ro's Cocaine leaked even though nobody anywhere knew exactly what it was
, that was a given too. We mean, is there ever a situation when it's not pertinent to write about Z-Ro? We contend no.
By the way, was anybody else paying attention to how big Z-Ro was when he popped up at the Drake show
recently? Here's video.
He makes a cool-looking fat guy, for sure, but there are two problems with his size - one of which probably isn't all that serious, the second of which is.
First, doesn't seeing him like this feel like an official end to the "Sooner Or Later, Z-Ro Is Going To Break Through And Become A Huge National Artist" argument? There's no way Fat Z-Ro gets any recognition from MTV, BET or any other mainstream outlet. It's impossible.
These days, you can be fat (Ricky Ross), or you can tell people you're a thug (Plies, TI, etc). But you can not be a fat guy that tells people you're a thug. It's just too much. And if you're about to argue that that's exactly what Ross does, you should take a look at that new "Super High" video he did with Ne-Yo. If you do a video with Ne-Yo where he dresses up like the gayest biker in history, you are not a thug. That's that.
Second, and this is the more serious bit, but given Ro's fondness of syrup, don't you think his being overweight probably isn't the best idea in the world? Those two things don't mesh so well. Big Moe enjoyed syrup and was overweight. Now he's dead. Pimp C enjoyed syrup and was overweight. Now he's dead. Of course, nobody is hoping anything like that happens, but if it does, you shouldn't be too surprised.
Anyhow, sometimes there's just so much going on that it's impossible to hone in on one thing in particular. It's why fish swim in schools. Or why orgy pornos always suck. And there has been a ton or rap-related tomfoolery going on as of late. Hit the jump to see five storylines from the recent week or so that you should be up on.