Coming Memorial Day: The Rap Round Table

Wait... which one is Z-Ro again?

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There are a bunch of reasons why writing about rap is a good job to have. First, obviously, is the [something]. Whenever we're out covering a rap show and we see an attractive woman, we're always like, "Yo, what up? We write for the Houston Press." Then the girl will turn around and walk away without saying a word because she is so impressed.

Second is the money. Oh, the money. You know that Birdman/Drake/Lil' Wayne song "Money To Blow"? Being a rap writer is just like that, except instead of having money to blow, you don't.

Third, duh, are the sunflower seeds. "Sunflower seeds" is code for something. We can't say what it is - we've literally been sworn to secrecy - but know that it is amazing. It's not weed. It's not drank. It's not anything you'd think it was. But it is amazing.

Fourth is access to the regular rap town-hall meetings that are held. For the unaware, once a month, every rapper or importance gathers at a stadium - for some inexplicable reason, the location is decided by Wale - to discuss issues relevant to the culture. It's mostly money, money and the cars, cars and the clothes, the hoes, we suppose.

It's super cool. Everyone is there.

Click image to see full size (trust us, you'll want to)

​DMX is there barking at people and shit; he's not terribly important anymore, but nobody is ballsy enough to take his pass from him. KRS-One is running around telling everybody about how he invented hip-hop. Nicki Minaj is there wearing a ridiculous wig. They've even got a special pen built for Z-Ro full of terrified businessmen who have been kidnapped from downtown that he's allowed to stab at his leisure.

Up until this point, these meetings have largely remained unreported on. Until now.

Now, we've got a regular feature already where we talk one-on-one with a rapper about whatever (that'd be Ask A Rapper), but that's mostly to discuss pressing issues like "Do rappers eat salad?" or "Would you have sex with a chick that looked exactly like Beyonce except that she's missing an arm?"

This new feature - we're calling it "The Rap Round Table" - will post bits of transcripts from these meetings on Rocks Off each Monday. It'll be real, actual, intelligent conversations with real, actual, intelligent rappers. For certain, all of the Houston guys will make an appearance, but so too will some guys with massive national reach: Nas, 50, Rick Ross, etc.

It'll be a proper good time. See you Monday.