Where Are We Peeing, And Talking About Freddy Fender, Justin Bieber, Lady Gaga, Barbra Streisand And Adam Lambert?

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Craig Hlavaty
So Tuesday night, we found ourselves all by our lonesome at this small bar, coming down off our birthday weekend. It's a cozy little spot with an ample jukebox, plenty of character, and way too much Lone Star.

We sat next to the bar's video poker machine, mainly to rest our head. Prop up the old braincasing for a few minutes before heading home. Sitting next to us was a kindly older Hispanic lady and another man just a few seats down, who were discussing music. In our profession, it's hard to not chime in when someone around you is talking about the recorded music.

"That Gaga is like Barbra Streisand. Those Jews like to make money," said the man at the end of the bar. WAWP and the Mexican Grandma both looked at each other, puzzled.

"I dunno man; she seems more like Madonna than anything else. I didn't even remember she was Jewish," we countered, laughing.

"Yeah man, she's like a new Madonna but she plays with blood and stuff, "says the MXGMA, after a sip of Lone Star.

"Man, I'm telling you, she just wants to sing weird-ass songs and make the money, like most of those folks. Remember that song "You Don't Bring Me Flowers?" That's some cold-ass shit," says our fellow panelist.

"It is pretty wrong, I mean he's just trying to not to get hurt and he's worried that bringing flowers will just make her complacent," we say burping up some of the peanuts we just bought.

"You need to relax, muchacho, "says MXGMA as she buys me a beer.

We three sit in silence for ten minutes until someone brings up Adam Lambert.

"I like him, I just don't want him touching me, if you get my drift", says Babs.

"Oh he's just like the Justin Bieber. You know, Ellen likes like Justin Bieber, and so does Usher," MXGMA tells us. "My granddaughter likes him a lot. He's no Freddy Fender though. That boy could sing."

And with that, we leave.

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