Date: March 12
Name: Toby Keith
AKA: "Mr. Boot in Your Ass"
Genre: [This is our] country
Best Known Song(s): "Beer for My Horses," "How Do You Like Me Now?", "Courtesy of the Red, White, and Blue (The Ugly Angry American)"
Key Demographic: Dick Cheney, ex-boyfriends of Natalie Maines, that survivalist guy in the first Highlander movie
Previous HLSR Appearances: 1995-96, 2003, 2006-09
Houston Connections, If Any: He has a plenty of fans here, which isn't
a shock. What's more surprising is that they can apparently read
If You Like This, Chances Are You'll Like: Waterboarding
Odds of Wearing a Hat: 100%
Because He/She's Bald? Like the eagle that graces our nation's currency. Actually, we have no idea, and frankly we're afraid to look.
Odds of Onstage Injury: <10%. Keith is pushing 50, and is unlikely to lumber around more than absolutely necessary.
Odds of Derogatory Obama Reference: 50/50, Keith is on record as being "cool" with the current President. That was last year, however, and few artists want to buck popular sentiment at the expense of record sales these days.