Date: March 11
Name: Brad Paisley
AKA: "Isn't That Jake Gyllenhaal?"
Genre: Freemason country
Best Known Song(s): "Alcohol," "She's Everything," "Ticks," "Ow, My Back"
Key Demographic: Confused Brokeback Mountain fans, people who only eat the vanilla section of Neapolitan ice cream
Previous HLSR Appearances: 2001, 2005, 2008-09
Houston Connections, If Any: According to Wikipedia, "Houston is a village in Renfrewshire, lying within the Gryffe Valley 6 miles (9.7 km) northwest of Paisley in the west-Central Lowlands of Scotland." That's...pretty close.
If You Like This, Chances Are You'll Like: Prince of Persia, John Denver, eyebrows
Odds of Wearing a Hat: 100%
Because He/She's Bald? No, just sensitive.
Odds of Onstage Injury: Funny you should mention that, because he ate it pretty hard at his March 6 concert in Charleston. We're betting he doesn't romp around quite so much here.
Seriously Though, That's Not Jake Gyllenhaal? No