Date: March 18
Name: Black Eyed Peas
AKA: "Fergie and Three Other Guys"
Best Known Song(s): "Where is the Love?," "My Humps," "Check Out Our Singer's Cans"
Key Demographic: The tone-deaf, confused Fugees fans, victims of poisoning without ready access to Ipecac
Previous HLSR Appearances: none
Houston Connections, If Any: Fergie's part owner of the Miami Dolphins, who are in the AFC with the Texans
If You Like This, Chances Are You'll Like: Anesthesia-less oral surgery, strangled cats, irony-free viewing of Harmony Korine's films
Odds of Wearing a Hat: Odds are almost 100% at least one of the Peas will sport some headwear at some point during the show. Fergie and apl.de.ap are especially fond of them.
Because He/She's Bald? We don't think so, but Fergie could be wearing a wig to hide meth-induced baldness
Odds of Onstage Injury: 50-50: there are four of them jumping around up there, so it's bound to happen at some point
Number of Pre-Teen Girls Who Will Be Gyrating to "My Humps" Tonight While Their Parents Cluelessly Check Email on Their Blackberries: Approximately 4,000