Rocks Off's Concert Guide To The Rodeo: Alan Jackson

As a service to our readers, we'd like to present Rocks Off's Concert Guide to the Rodeo. Presented each weekday over the course of the next month, we hope it helps you make sound musical choices by telling you who's singing about putting a boot in your ass and who's singing about "boot scootin'."

Date: March 2

Name: Alan Jackson

AKA: "The Other Ford Truck Guy"

Genre: Earnestly sincere country

Best Known Song(s): "Where Were You (When the World Stopped Turning)," "She's Got the Rhythm (And I Got the Blues)," "Do All These Goddamn Songs (Use Parentheses)?"

Key Demographic: People uncomfortable with unvarnished George Jones, Scrabble enthusiasts who believe "hoochie coochie" is a valid play

Previous HLSR Appearances: 1992-2002, 2004-09

Houston Connections, If Any: He's played the Rodeo a ton, but why did he take 2003 off? Rough negotiations with Cracker Barrel?

If You Like This, Chances Are You'll Like: Kid Rock Unplugged, MTV Sports, and the shirtless stylings of Orleans

Odds of Wearing a Hat: 100%

Because He/She's Bald? Early on, not so much. But like many of us, Jackson appears to know the sting of male pattern baldness.

Odds of Onstage Injury: < 20%. Jackson has slowed down in recent years, and is no longer offering "moustache rides" to comely young women in the first few rows.

Odds of Moustache Fu: 100%