Don't Start A Band, Unless You Can Sleep Through Hours Of Pointless Arguing

Categories: WTF Island

First and foremost, before we upset our fellow musicians, let's make one thing clear in case you didn't pick up on it from the last "Don't Start A Band" blog: We're all idiots. That includes us.

If you have chosen to pursue the dream of rock stardom or, like us, just want to make good music for yourself and a few others to enjoy, you're fighting an uphill battle. Sorry if it upsets you, but it's true. The likelihood of becoming famous and/or making enough money off of your music to live a nice life is near impossible. It's like going to college and majoring in communication... Wait, we're doing that, too. Oh well.

So let's focus on our idiocy, and if you guys e-mail us, next time we can talk about yours.

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Our band is composed of four members: a drummer, a guitarist, a bassist and Rocks Off on lead vocals. Our drummer and guitarist also sing backup vocals to make up for the occasional failings in our voice.

That and three-part harmonies are just awesome. Don't believe us? Here's proof. (We're no Queen, obviously, but we do our best.)

When we do practice, which isn't nearly often enough, we either rush through our set, because one of us has somewhere we have to be soon, or we have a band meeting of sorts. The band meetings usually go something like this:

Drummer (as we're writing music): "This is the natural progression of the song, so next we should..."

Guitarist (with a big grin on his face): "Yeah... but that's what people will be expecting, so we should do the opposite and surprise them."

Then those two argue for an hour or so while we sleep. We would chime in, but since we don't play any instruments, we're the Rodney Dangerfield of the band, garnering absolutely no respect. Our bass player, who usually serves as the tiebreaker, chimes in and suggests we add a lot of distortion and a few notes of dischord.

Wow. That was productive.

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