Craig's Hlist: Our Grandmother Gave Us Food Poisoning, You Get These Songs

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This is the debut of Craig's Hlist, wherein the Hlavaty side of He Said She Said backs off from his weekly HSSS duties to record a bi-weekly solo blog of sorts. If HSSS was the Velvet Underground, then Craig's Hlist is his Transformer or something. Though at best, it probably just Steve Perry's Street Talk. Steeeve Perry!

Two nights before Craig left for SXSW, he was goaded into eating some pot roast by his elderly grandmother when he stopped by her house the previous Sunday afternoon. Out of respect and a small amount of fear, he ate it. His grandmother is getting up in years, and doesn't exactly follow modern food preparatory procedure, meaning someone may get sick, actually very sick at times.

So sick, for example, that Craig almost missed seeing Motorhead last Tuesday night. If that would have happened, well let's just say that Pearland has a really nice nursing home in the middle of town for grandmas who get in trouble. You hear that, Betty? That place across the street from the bowling alley? Yeah...

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What has followed has been almost a week straight of harrowing car trips, aching stomachs, and sweaty-browed cursing. Craig even braved SXSW for five days, barely eating much, yet - strangely - still drinking to his heart's content.

OK, there was an incident at a BBQ place off Highway 71, but that was only because he was giving an out-of-town colleague a lesson in the art of smoked Texas meats. And then there was the visit to Austin Java on Sunday morning which he would regret two hours later. Thanks, Buc-ee's!

Here's the soundtrack to cold sweats, headaches, cramps and various excuses used for ditching dinner with friends. We promise you can't get sick from reading this blog, though you probably shouldn't lick the screen. Oh man, we'll be right back...