|Mad Men's Christina Hendricks makes us feel like a man in the best possible way...|
He Said's view of manhood wasn't built on sweat and labor the way most guys would probably say. Early on in our musical journey, we always equated music to being sleazy and slithery, or just dancing. It makes sense that the past two and a half decades of our life were spent searching for the perfect mixture of balls and sass in our daily soundtracks. That's why we never got into emo or the soft indie jams because there was no sex in it. They're all brain and no loinage.
Our first rock and roll memories were riddled with innuendo and shock. Going to see Dirty Dancing
with our mom when we weren't even in kindergarten. Watching early MTV we saw Duran Duran thrusting on chicks, Motley Crue leering at strippers, and Robert Palmer in a suit being suave as shit. We know for a fact that there does exist a video of a tiny He Said mimicking Tom Cruise's moves from Risky Business
in a diaper in the family living room.
It all created a perfect storm for us to listen with our hanging brain instead of our heads. That's probably why the blues and metal were, for better or worse, an early influence on our understanding of female and male roles. Women could either be exalted or exiled it all depending on who was doing the talking. Muddy Waters would say "Come 'ere, girl" while Mick and Keith would turn her over and call her a "starfucker."
Anyhow, the music that makes us feel most like we have a power trio in our pants is heavy on bass, panting and salacious suggestions. It's just how we were raised. If we had been born a girl and subjected to the same environment, we would either be a pop-shocker on par with Lady Gaga or sadly making our way to the stage right about now to the strains of Pantera's "Walk" over at Rick's Cabaret. Give it up for Janie Gunz!
"Mannish Boy," Muddy Waters
If this doesn't make you wanna holler at some gal next to the jukebox, you got issues, brotherman. When He Said first heard this as a little kid, it was like someone opening a mythical mental floodgate of lasciviousness.
"20th Century Boy," T.Rex
There's a point in the opening guitar stab of this Marc Bolan composition where a guy can actually feel himself get taller and broader and begin emitting foreign pheromones.
"Penetration," The Stooges
It's called "Penetration" and Iggy Pop is singing it. Jesus Christ, what more do you want?
"For Your Love," The Yardbirds
The drum beat that signals the beginning to every chorus is the thing here. It reminds us of that sound your heart makes right before you are about to do something you will regret.
"Thickfreakness," The Black Keys
The Black Keys know when to freakin' smush when they have to. Early on you got a lot of these burners from Pat and Dan, but not so much anymore. Wonder if birthrates in Akron, Ohio, have gone down at all...