Eddie Van Halen Can't Drive 55, But He Is 55

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Daniel Kramer
Today marks the 55th anniversary of the world receiving the gift of the illustrious finger-tapping stylings of Eddie Van Halen. Hard rock wouldn't be the same without his goofy face on stage wailing away on his "Frankenstrat" and his strong arm tactics behind the scenes.

Rocks Off has long been a fan of Van Halen, ever since an older neighbor boy made us a cassette copy of the band's 1982 release Diver Down when we were in the fourth grade. The whole summer of 1994 was spent riding our bicycle around town blaring "Little Girls" and "(Oh) Pretty Woman" and fantasizing about making out with junior high chicks on the bus that coming August.

The future of Van Halen looks ripe for another tour, seeing that finally we have been ridden of the Red Menace known as Sammy Hagar, who has taken up permanently with original VH bassist Michael Anthony in Cabo San Lucas to be sketchy old men spraying tequila on sorority chicks' breasts. Well, we guess that can't be all that bad.

Eddie has said in an interview last year that all he is waiting for is son/bassist Wolfgang to graduate high school this June so they can record and go on a full scale tour. The band was last in Houston in early 2008 on the first tour back with Wolfgang in on bass. David Lee Roth seems to be the new line-ups permanent singer, but don't be surprised if he doesn't find a way to "razzamazzazimmazimma" that up and piss off Eddie like in 1996 (above).

The best thing that Eddie Van Halen has ever done, besides coke off of ex-wife Valerie Bertinelli's bare buttocks, is wicked solo guitar jams. Rocks Off isn't really a big fan of long drawn out solo wankfests but Eddie gets a free pass. We found five of his best solo pieces, including one of the early debuts of his tapping method, and of course his work on Michael Jackson's "Beat It". We only included one version of "Eruption," thankfully.


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