Can Rocks Off Withstand an Entire Hour of Sunny 99.1's Holiday Programming?

"All I Want For Christmas," Mariah Carey

This is like the "Stairway To Heaven" of holiday songs. No matter what else Carey does for the rest of her life, it won't compare to the impact of her Christmas album.

"Santa Claus Is Coming To Town," Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band

Who are we kidding? Bruce and company could sing the directions on the back of a Fleet enema and we would dig the hell out of it. We like the banter with Clarence Clemons and the rest of the band in the intro of the song. You can actually hear Bruce's smile.

"White Christmas," Bing Crosby

Every time this gets played, it seems that it gets slower and slower to us, as if the recording is steadily degrading. Crosby sounds like he's on downers now, and we want some of what he was on.

"Happy X-Mas (War Is Over)," John Lennon

Between this and Mariah, no other Christmas music needs to exist. Seriously, cut the shit everyone else. Holiday truth getting spit at ya from J-Yo is all the world needs.

"Rockin' Around The Christmas Tree," Brenda Lee

Can you believe that Brenda Lee was only 13 when she recorded this? Also, does anyone else think when she says "pumpkin pie" that she is actually saying "fuckin' pie"? Maybe we are just hungry after having aural candy canes shoved in our ear canals.

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