If there's anything that makes Houstonians freak the fuck out worse than an oncoming hurricane, it's the threat of winter weather. Rocks Off was in our local grocery store Thursday night (we simply had to have that new Rolling Stone with Taylor Lautner on the cover) and the checkout line was teeming with folks buying firelogs and bottled water, as if a new ice age was descending upon Southeast Texas.
And you think people drive badly in the rain around here? Brothers and sisters, you ain't seen nothing until you've seen them oversteering on half an inch of snow. Because it's our business, we believe these problems can be solved with the judicious application of a little music. So when preparing for your commute home, make sure your playlist is stocked with the following winter-friendly artists.
Ice-T/Ice Cube/Vanilla Ice
Might as well get them all out of the way at once, yeah? We can think of pros and cons for any (okay, two) of these guys, and even T and Cube have made some bad choices (the former is billed as the "Rap Talker" in Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo, while the latter's family friendly movie career has placed him firmly in the once-derided "Oreo cookie" camp), but either are preferable to He Who Shall Not Be Named.
Say what you want about the former Darren O'Brien, at least the guy has some prison cred. Though with song titles like "Informer," we can't help but wonder how difficult his time in stir really was.
Nowadays most of us think of Frank Billingsley or Casey Curry when we hear the words "weather report." Rocks Off can't say for certain, but we're pretty sure Joe Zawinul and Jaco Pastorius put on a better show.
Rocks Off will always be grateful to our freshman college dorm-mate for introducing us to Euro metal like CF and Candlemass. We're not necessarily saying we have it playing while fixing dinner for the kids, but it'll keep your attention during that rush-hour drive.
Arctic Monkeys/Snow Patrol
We're not combining these two because we're huge fans of either band, exactly, but because we're eager to pitch our new script - Arctic Monkey Ski Patrol - to the SyFy Network, and this seemed like a good place to start.