Vote With a Bullet: Songs for an Otherwise Ho-Hum Election Day

Categories: Lists, Miles-tones
election.jpg

The run-up to the 2009 elections has been quite a letdown compared to the fascinating and occasionally surreal 2008 campaigns. Obviously, there's nothing that can compare to last year's Presidential contests, and the local mayoral race has been less than compelling.

We were going to present this as a list of songs to listen to while waiting in line to vote, but considering that area turnout is estimated to be in the 30 percent range and you'll probably be in and out of the booth in a matter of minutes, think of these as songs to listen to while waiting to see who Bill White endorses in the runoff.

Arcadia, "Election Day"

The most compelling evidence that extraterrestrials have not, in fact, become aware of our existence is this video, because any intergalactic civilization encountering this incomprehensible exercise in 1980s self-indulgence would've been compelled to immediately disintegrate the earth for the good of the universe.

Bob Roberts, "Don't Vote"

If only those who thought differently than us would just stay home on election day, then no one would show up and we could finally fulfill our destiny as a nation: to be ruled by a junta consisting of each season's reality television winners. We can't wait to hear Kris Allen's plans to resolve our softwood lumber dispute with Canada.

XTC, "Mayor of Simpleton"

This wordier update of Sam Cooke's "Wonderful World" has the protagonist of the song begging a woman to overlook his intellectual deficits and accept the sincerity of his love. One can almost picture a young George W. Bush sending the song to Laura in a "long distance dedication"...if they hadn't actually gotten married five years earlier.

Cream, "Politician"

We admit, we're not really sure what the point of this song is (aside from for Clapton solo opoortunities). "Politics" seems to be a euphemism for "penis," which would make it just about the most honest song about the electoral process - and how it affects the average voter - ever written.

Corrosion of Conformity, "Vote With a Bullet"

We at Rocks Off in no way endorse the use of violence in our electoral process, unless the elections in question involve American Idol or Big Brother. In those cases, we'll hand out the Uzis ourselves.

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