Five Possible Replacements for Steven Tyler In Aerosmith, Including Morrissey

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The remaining members of Aerosmith yesterday confirmed the news that singer Steven Tyler has left the band, and that they are currently looking for a replacement while Steven pursues glory with "Brand Tyler," whatever the hell that is.

Thought Rocks Off has a hard time imagining anyone who could fill Tyler's stretchy pants and lead the venerable group on another tour as they gamely feign enthusiasm while playing "Sweet Emotion" for the ten-millionth time, we came up with a few candidates who - due to artistic similarities or good timing - might fit the bill.

Axl Rose

Rose's insistence that Guns N' Roses are planning a new tour behind Chinese Democracy - starting in Winnipeg - is like that time your friend talked about this awesome girl he met over the summer. Coincidentally, she was also from Canada. Axl needs to get with a band that will actually get him out on the road and won't automatically bend to his every schizophrenic whim. Besides, don't forget G N' R's bad-ass cover of "Mama Kin" on G N' R Lies.

Taime Downe

The Faster Pussycat frontman freely admits he copped his look (and ubiquitous scarves) from Tyler. We somehow doubt he'd turn down the opportunity to front Tyler's old band, as FP is essentially an Aerosmith tribute band.

David St. Hubbins

Face it, he and Nigel need some time away from each other. And like Aerosmith, Spinal Tap has had their own album cover controversies.

Gary Cherone

For all the crap about the Cherone incarnation of VH being worse than Van Hagar (no mean feat), the guy has some serious pipes. And "More Than Words" is as shitty as anything Aerosmith has released in the last 20 years. He'd probably need to do something about the hair, though.

Morrissey

"The Aerosmiths." 'nuff said. Also, he has Tyler's whole "old guy falling down" thing down pat.

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