Did You Know Houston Has Had the Same Official Song Since 1915? Maybe It's Time for a New One.
"Here in dear old Houston, we will sing our song today, We'll wave our City's banner, it reaches to the bay! Singing on the Lone Star's glory, what land is more free? There is no place like Houston, and old Houston is for me!
CHORUS "It's the one place, and it's the dearest The City I love best! It's the one place, and it's the dearest The queen of the mighty West! So, then give me Houston! 'Tis her I would be, In the best place of all creation, My Houston for me.
"Our fathers came for freedom, from ev'ry foreign shore, They found it in New England, but they still wanted more, Moving westward then to Texas, to Houston so grand, 'Twas here they settled ever in the fertile wonder-land!
"'Twas here in dear old Texas, down at the Alamo; Brave Travis, gentle Bowie, and Crockett struck the blow, Dying nobly for our freedom, for liberty so dear, They gave us all our glory, and we'll live forever here!
"Now in dear old Houston, we will forever be, Our men are mighty builders, our ships sail out to sea, Building for a greater future, our flag is unfurled - We're calling to the nation, and inviting all the world!"
Jesus, where do we start? Maybe with Houston as the "queen of the mighty West"? Montrose jokes aside, we bet folks like Michael Berry and Dan Patrick would be "tickled" to death if we all started running around calling it that. Or how about the freedom-celebrating line, "They found it in New England, but still they wanted more." Way to endorse the massive land grab/displacement of indigenous peoples euphemistically referred to as "manifest destiny" there, Oliver. Oh yeah - and one entire verse about the Alamo, which last we checked was about 200 miles to the west in a little town called San Antone, and nary a mention of San Jacinto? Did this guy even live here? Besides, didn't Houston's pro soccer franchise change its name to "Dynamo" from "1836" because any mention of the Year of Texas Independence was deemed offensive to the millions of Houston-area residents of Hispanic heritage, now around 40 percent of the population and rising fast? At least the song manages to offend local Sons and Daughters of the Republic of Texas and the descendants of their Mexican adversaries, we guess. We'll forgive Allstorm for not mentioning any other Houston industries besides shipbuilding - space travel, large-scale petrochemical refining, agonizingly life-prolonging medical breakthroughs and rampant speculation in illegal energy futures were still decades in the future, and the Ship Channel had just opened the previous year. And he did get a couple of things right: the part about opening our arms to the world (did we ever... thanks, air conditioning!) and, we suppose, our marshy Gulf Coastal Plain used to be fertile before it was completely paved over. Anyhow, this is starting to get a little long, so we'll wrap it up. Rocks Off thinks its high time the Bayou City got itself a new official song. We even went to the trouble of picking one out. Tomorrow, we'll tell you what we chose - and, although it makes perfect sense, it'll probably still piss you off.