Dancing With the Stars announced the pairings for its upcoming season Monday - like you care - and while some out there are no doubt crunching the odds of Debi Mazar and that Russian guy squaring off with Chuck Liddell and...that Russian chick in the finals, local interest is still focused on former U.S. House speaker Tom DeLay and his partner, Cheryl Burke.
Burke is a two-time DWTS winner, and has had her own share of what passes for controversy on network TV. Granted, accusations of being "too fat" aren't quite up there with subverting the Constitution and being one of the most corrupt Congressmen in American history, but perhaps the two can find some common ground that will help propel them to victory. And hey, there have been weirder musical duos...
Rob Lowe & Snow White, The 1989 Academy Awards: There really are no words that can do this justice, but we'll try. This was the last Oscar telecast produced by Allan Carr, and it's so Fellini-esque in its madness you almost have to wonder if he didn't do it with the express purpose of getting fired. That people forget about Merv Griffin, Lily Tomlin, and a plus-sized Carmen Miranda is testament to how horrifying Lowe and Snow really were. And the fact that his career survived this, the underaged girl sex tape, and The Lyon's Den makes Lowe the most powerful being in the universe.
Elton John and Axl Rose, "Bohemian Rhapsody" (1992 Freddie Mercury Tribute Concert): "Hi Elton, it's Axl."
"Look, before we go on stage I just want to say, when I sang that line about 'immigrants and faggots' in 'One in a Million,' I didn't mean gays like you."
"Gays like me?"
"You know, the talented ones."
"Well that's very pleasant of you to say. By the way, I just got off the phone with Slash and Izzy and convinced them to leave the band."
David Bowie and Bing Crosby, "Little Drummer Boy" (1977): A classic, and still worth viewing to see Der Bingle try and keep a straight face when describing modern music as "really fine." We still wish Bowie would've responded by asking if he preferred "We Are the Dead" or "Diamond Dogs."
Snoop Dogg and Willie Nelson, "Superman": This is only an unusual pairing if you contrast Snoop and Willie's age, skin color, musical genres and height. Fortunately for those concerned, marijuana is perhaps the greatest of all equalizers.
The Fat Boys and the Beach Boys, "Wipeout": We don't care what he did to Duk Koo Kim, appearing in this video should absolve Ray "Boom Boom" Mancini of all his past sins. And maybe James Watt was right about the beach Boys.