Lone Star Scorecard: "God Blessed Texas," "Dracula From Houston" and "The Wasp (Texas Radio and the Big Beat)"

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You know the drill: every week we sift through several thousand songs (mostly) extolling the virtues of the Great State of Texas to bring you three that still manage to screw it up. And whether written by native sons or godless Yankee heathens, mistakes abound.

Little Texas, "God Blessed Texas": The Arlington-based band scored a decent hit with this not-so-modest ode to the Lone Star State's surfeit of divine favor. Hey, we're fond of Texas too, but while we realize that even Dallas has to look heavenly compared to Cleveland for Ohio native and co-songwriter Brady Seals, maybe he should spend some time in La Marque before crowing too much about "seeing heaven."

Butthole Surfers, "Dracula from Houston": Although the words "Dracula" and "Houston" are never spoken in the song itself, we'd just like to point out that - with 200-plus days of sunlight every year - Houston would be a poor place for vampires to set up residence. Even those fruity ones from Twilight.

The Doors, "The WASP (Texas Radio and the Big Beat)": Well, it's Jim Morrison, which means forced metaphors and goofy nonsequiturs that sound really cool when you're passing the sneak-a-toke around your dorm room and exhaling through a toilet paper tube stuffed with fabric softener sheets to fool the RA. Texas radio "comes out of the Virginia swamps?" That seems like poor navigation. And where is this forest with "brightly feathered Negroes?" We bet it's not near Vidor.


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