Turning the Screw: J-Dawg, DMX, Birdman/Weezy, Kelis/Nas, Weezy/Obama, Snoop Dogg, LL Cool J, Geto Boys and More

Welcome back to Turning the Screw, Rocks Off's weekly rap post. It probably won't rhyme, at least most of the time. E-mail tips to introducingliston@gmail.com. Thanks, homies.

Single of the Week: J-Dawg, "Never"

Wire To Wire

Did you know that it costs $240,000 to impersonate an FBI agent? DMX does.

Birdman says he will totally kiss Weezy on the mouth again. Adds, "Big whoop, wanna fight about it?"

The real Ricky Ross is getting released from prison. Somewhere, the fake Rick Ross is crapping himself.

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Kelis' milkshake no longer brings Nas to the yard.

Ever heard of a book called Subway Art? The fairly influential hip-hop book is celebrating its 25th anniversary.

Eminem is releasing his video for "3 a.m." on Cinemax because it's too risqué. We're reminded of BET's now-defunct video show Uncut, which would all but show people having sex. We miss Uncut.

Foxy Brown not going to jail, still looks like a zombie.

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How the hell did Lil' Wayne rank higher on Time's most influential people list than Barack Obama? Seriously? Seriously.

You read it correctly: Best Buy to start stocking vinyl.

Anthony Gonzalez decided he'd rather not go to jail behind that $10 million drug ring he was allegedly running.

Sears denies the rumor that it will no longer carry LL Cool J's clothing line, which begs the question: Why is Sears carrying LL Cool J's clothing line? Was it a clothing line for farmers or guys from the '50s?

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Snoop Dogg gave his rebuttal in court re: that guy that sued him for $22 million after he said he was assaulted after climbing onstage. Said Snoop (and this is not a joke), "The best way for the injuries not to have occurred [was] for him to stay in his seat and enjoy the show like the rest of the fans." Stay in his seat: how gangster is that?

Sadly, the reports of DMX joing VH-1's Celebrity Rehab were false.

Houston Rap Video of the Week

Because you either missed it or forgot about it:

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