Post-Valentine's Day Relationship Rescue Songs

Categories: Lists

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Dwight McCann
So Valentine's Day is over, and you spent all your dough on Cupid swag for that special sweetie, which hopefully bought your way out of the doghouse for the time being. But if not, Casanova, your Rocks Off homies still have your back - provided you have an iTunes account.

Sentimentally speaking, what could be more romantic than the gift of lovey-dovey pop songs? They say so much, and, until iTunes' new pricing tiers take effect this Spring (driving big hits up by as much as a whopping 30 cents), cost so little. The recession won't wind down anytime soon, so we recommend stockpiling these MP3 forget-me-nots, which may help save your relationship bacon if for some reason roses and chocolates weren't enough.

Dolly Parton & Kenny Rogers, "Islands In The Stream"

Because using nature metaphors to deliniate codependent devotion is hot. Just be sure not to Google current, Botoxed-out photos of the performers prior to hitting the sheets. 

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Antonio Cruz/ Agencia Brasil
Stevie Wonder,
"I Just Called to Say I Love You"

In the sucktastic movie High Fidelity, Jack Black dismisses this tune as "sentimental tacky crap," which is sorta true - those syrupy Cheese Whiz keyboards and Hallmark lyrics effectively piss on Wonder's earlier records. But for melodic and thematic bluntness, "I Just Called" really can't be beat.

When you gift this one, you should totally call the recipient, even if you're in the same room together - so meta.

Alanis Morrissette,
"Head Over Feet"

This, one of Alanis' lesser-known songs, doubles as one of her best. In the little-things-mean-so-much spirit of That Dog.'s "You're Gonna See Me," Blink 182's "All the Small Things," and Dido's "Thank You," the Queen of Irony celebrates - with her usual bizarre vocal inflections - the minutae of domestic bliss, reveling in the sorts of near-insignificant kindnesses that most of us take for granted.

Terrence Trent D'Arby, "Sign Your Name"

Nothin' says lovin' like suggesting, by way of a sultry 1988 pop R&B single, that one would, given the necessary resources, a) retain a surgical team; b) have said team cut open your chest cavity; and c) offer one's significant other the once-in-a-lifetime chance to leave a sloppy, Sharpie'd John Hancock on someone else's pulsing cardio carburator.

Clipse, "Dirty Money"

Those among you who are quietly supplementing your incomes by pushing dope may find this crack-rap banger a subtle vehicle for communicating that fact without actually saying so.

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