Gazing Ahead into 2009, Part 2

Categories: Lists

[Note: see here for Rocks Off's previous prognostications.]

U2.jpg

 

U2 (March)

Best Case Scenario: Armed with the backing of Live Nation, they release their best album in over a decade and Bono shuts his face as they sell out Reliant Stadium in two minutes.

Worst Case Scenario: The recession (finally) hits the touring industry hard; people stay home and listen to The Joshua Tree drinking beer in their garage.

lily allen.jpgLily Allen (February)

Best Case Scenario: Allen builds on her solidly hooky debut, going fully mainstream with a massive album and hosting/performing on her own Saturday Night Live episode.

Worst Case Scenario: She's bumming smokes from paparazzi, while wearing only a sailor hat and a faded Wham T-shirt on Christmas Day in front of her crack dealer's flat.

Depeche Mode (Summer)

Best Case Scenario: Martin Gore and Dave Gahan break out the leather like 1986 and leave us quivering in our seats with an album that makes Black Celebration look like a Miley Cyrus record.

Worst Case Scenario: Dave Gahan makes like 1994 and overdoses again.

Muse.jpgMuse (Fall)

Best Case Scenario: Muse brings their punky Pink Floyd mash to the masses and Ben Taub's ER is littered with cornea injuries from their bitchin' lightshows.

Worst Case Scenario: Like My Morning Jacket, they mistake themselves for Prince and the Revolution and release a 14-dollar beer coaster no one understands or has time to.

Jack White/ Bob Dylan/ Hank Williams Project (TBA)

Best Case Scenario: Mr. White and Zimmy have been toiling away putting tunes to unused Hank Sr. lyrics for about two years now, with help from Lucinda Williams and Willie Nelson. The lyrics were said to be those that were in the late singer's suitcase at the time of his death in 1953.

Worst Case Scenario: The album is only released on cassette. That's really the only bad thing that could happen. Or maybe Pharrell remixes it for some reason. - Craig Hlavaty 

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