Five Spot: New Kids Are Back, Bitches

Categories: Five Spot

[Since we were a little busy baking in Zilker Park Friday, Rocks Off didn't get a chance to post last week's Five Spot. Here 'tis - Ed.]

Welcome back to Five Spot. Every week, we'll examine a recent bit of music news and list five reasons why it's either brilliant or dumb-assed. Send tips to introducingliston@gmail.com.

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New "Kids" on the Block on NBC's Today Show

You know how Godwin's Law essentially says that, if discussed long enough, the probability of a comparison involving Hitler or the Nazis approaches one? Well, we've got what we call the NKOTB Law - that's New Kids On the Block, for all you old people - which is kind of the same thing.

It states that, if discussed long enough, the probability of a comparison involving the New Kids On The Block approaches friggin' AWESOME! The New Kids are so sweet and you know it. We've liked them forever, since ay before it was cool to like them in that ironic sense that everyone likes them in now.

Five Spot legitimately thinks NKOTB are dope. So when we saw that they (finally) performed a live show in the U.S., their first in 15 years, we were super stoked. Thank God for YouTube. Five NKOTB videos to get you through the workday:

1. Their single, "Single," featuring Ne-Yo (naturally): The best part of this video is Jordan's super-cool neck roll move that he does at the 1:33 mark. And about 11 other marks.

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2. Another newer one, "Summertime." Are we the only ones who think Danny looks like an extra on Dog The Bounty Hunter?

3. We don't wear panties, but if we did, we'd throw them at NKOTB when they perform "Step By Step." Donny riding a motorcycle into the video shoot is just about the best thing ever.

4. We know people say this all the time, but seriously, we really thought they were singing "I'll Be Loving You (Forever)" to us.

5. One time we got into a fight with our mom about coming home past curfew. She was like, "Where we you?! What were you doing?!" We were all, "Nowhere, ma," and she was like, "Boy, if you don't tell me where you were right now..." We turned around, looked her dead in her eye, and said, all cool and dramatic, "We were hangin' tough." She smacked us in the mouth.

Oh, in case you didn't figure it out, NKOTB back on tour - tickets are still available for their show with Natasha Bedingfield October 16 at Toyota Center - in the U.S. is brilliant. - Shea Serrano


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