Lonesome, Onry and Mean: Pat Green's Instant Karma

[Ed. note: Turns out this story was exaggerated just a bit. Wishful thinking, maybe? See the comments for the clarification. We decided to leave this up because it's still hilarious.]

I’ve written so much negative stuff about Pat Green that I’ve kinda put that away as something that’s been beat to death. But alas, the boy won’t stay out of the news. Green has proven once again that his jaw is made of glass.

Last weekend, Green was knocked cold by a flying beer can at a post-NASCAR concert in Brooklyn, Michigan. A call of “anybody got a beer” to the rowdy crowd at Michigan International Speedway resulted in a flying full one hitting Green square in the face. As someone on the Austin American-Statesman blog noted, “That wouldn’t have happened if he’d called out for a joint.”

Green’s glass jaw first came to light in March 2002 when he was strolling on the beach at South Padre Island and a passer-by beat the crap out of him, forcing him to cancel the next day's show. Since selling out to Nashville, Green has become a national act more in tune with the Toby Keith and Kenny Chesney crowds than anything we still call Texas music. For the most part, he's entirely passe except for the type of individual who listens to commercial country radio pabulum.

A local musician once took this reporter to task for “suppressing the truth about Pat Green and that ‘Wave on Wave’ song,” asking me the pointed question “Ain’t there one of you goddamn idiots in the music press that sees Green is ripping off Cher?”

I wonder if she has a glass jaw too? - William Michael Smith


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