Going to the Chapel, Going to Jail

Categories: Whatever

This past year, two of my very best and oldest friends that I grew up with in Pittsburgh got married, one in Chicago and one in Austin.

The Chicago wedding took place in a basement theater of the city’s main public library. Vows were exchanged onstage after bride and bridegroom sang a rousing rendition of the John Prine and Iris Dement duet “In Spite of Ourselves.”

The Austin wedding and reception occurred outside in an idyllic field. The couple, whose anniversary is tomorrow, danced their first dance as newlyweds to “Blue Eyes” by Gram Parsons.

Both were lovely and memorable, but somehow I wish they had resembled this wedding that happened over the weekend back in our beloved Pittsburgh in which the couple got loaded, started a brawl and landed themselves in jail:

“Mrs. Wielechowski, still dressed in her wedding gown, was picked up by her father and taken home. No one was awaiting Dr. Wielechowski, whose left eye was blackened and swollen shut. He was arraigned wearing tuxedo pants, a bloodied T-shirt and one shoe.”

Any ideas what their song ought to have been? –Todd Spivak

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