Drenched in Blog: Haddaway Go Away

Leave it to the ad wizards on Madion Avenue to dredge up the sins of our pop-music past. This year's Super Bowl was an upset, and I'm not just talking about the Giants shooting down my beloved Patriots. The worse atrocity was commercials this year featuring odd musical fumbles and questionable plays. But we all agree that Tom Petty's halftime beard was one for the ages.

First there was the Pepsi ad featuring Haddaway’s "What is Love." This "song" was cool for about two minutes around the time Bill Clinton took office. Then we endured its resurgence thanks to SNL’s "Roxbury Guys" sketches in the late ‘90s. After the ad’s first-quarter airing, I had that damn song in my head the rest of the game. What is love? Not this. This is hate.

Did we need Naomi Campbell dancing to "Thriller"? No, we don't need to ever see her ever again. And if we do, it better be on the next season of Celebrity Rehab while she pukes in the trashcan in a daycare center. Don’t get me wrong, I love the Michael Jackson song. I guess someone's gotta pay for the lights at the abandoned Neverland Ranch.

The Arcade Fire's "No Cars Go" was used in a few of Fox’s pre-game promos. I thought with Win and the guys hanging out with the Boss as of late that we wouldn't see things like this. Shudder…

But the worst for me was the use of Danzig's "Mother" on a promo for Fox’s new Terminator TV series, The Sarah Connor Chronicles. As I sat stuffing my face with sausage and queso, I heard the opening guitar line and Danzig's Evil Elvis bellow. I spilled hot cheese all over my Misfits shirt. All my friends sat and watched me get out of my seat and mutter curses over and over as I stared at the screen in disbelief. Then I looked down and the crimson ghost on my chest was shedding a tear.

I hope that ad bought you plenty of buckets of pig's blood and maybe even a new "evil" weight bench, Glenn. – Craig Hlavaty




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