Beyowza!

Dear Jay-Z,

Oh, Jigga-Man, how do you do it? You are a rap icon, business mogul, cultural talisman. So many things to so many of the populace. How do you keep up with such a scorching little number like Ms. Knowles? Must be tiring as Hades, waiting for a team of stylists and couturiers to dress and wash this princess of moving pictures set to music! And when I saw this clip online, I was entranced. Never before has a peek-a-boo of a flesh-toned undergarment caused such a clamor among all the limpwristed and haughty constabulary.

I applaud you, sir. A less rational and civilized gentleman would sooner married Trina than toil in obscurity behind an international treasure – with the possible exception of Malaysia – like B. I tip my cap to you, Hova. The gods on Mount Olympus are surely smiling on you.

Sincerely,

Craig Hlavaty