Want to Help a Dog Who Had Half His Face Chopped Off? [Warning: Graphic Image]

Categories: Whatever

Courtesy ADORE Houston
So it looks like some asshole hacked off half of a dog's face, and that dog is still alive and could use your help.

Local rescue group ADORE Houston took custody of the dog Wednesday, after he was spotted in a landfill by Highway 288 and Almeda-Genoa Road, ADORE founder Angela Madeksho told us. A dead brindle dog was nearby.

"He was just sitting by his dead buddy," Madeksho told us. WARNING: Graphic pic to follow.

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Texas Man Cashes in 500 Pounds of Pennies

Categories: Whatever

Screenshot from KCBD
81,600 pennies for your thoughts.
The last time we took a bunch of change to the magic Coinstar machine, it was about a solo cup's worth, and we got about $12, and damnit, we were happy. But there's no way we could have been as happy as Ira Keys, a Lubbock County man who made headlines around the world by bringing 81,600 pennies to his bank.

The 81-year-old Keys saved the pennies over 65 years, according to KCBD.

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Jockey Under Investigation for Shocking Horse at Sam Houston Race Park

Categories: Sports, Whatever

Via the Paulick Report
This photo, which first appeared on the paulickreport.com, appears to show Roman Chapa holding a buzzer in his left hand at Sam Houston Race Park on Saturday.
The photograph shows horse jockey Roman Chapa staring straight ahead atop Quiet Acceleration as he wins the $50,000 Richard King Stakes at the Sam Houston Race Park on Saturday.

But if you look closely, the photo also appears to show Chapa gripping more than just the reins. Chapa's left hand is clenched around what looks like a "buzzer" or "machine," a sort of performance-enhancing drug of the horse-racing sport. About the size of a cigarette lighter, the buzzer conducts an electrical current that jockeys use to shock a horse into running faster in the decisive moments of a race.

It's among the seedier practices of the sport, one that's been banned by both state and federal authorities and a practice the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals have likened to animal cruelty.

The finish photo from Chapa's race on Saturday, first picked up by thoroughbred racing news site the Paulick Report, has now made it into the hands of the Texas Racing Commission, which has opened an investigation into whether Chapa should be punished for shocking horses at Sam Houston Race Park.

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Daryl Morey Gets Bored on Flight, Cracks Vagina Joke During Twitter Q&A

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Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Darylmorey01.jpg
Morbidthoughts via Wikimedia Commons
"Long flight to D-League Showcase with wifi, if you have a question I would be happy to answer it," Rockets GM Daryl Morey told his Twitter followers while en route to Santa Cruz today.

After about an hour answering questions ranging from how he picks players to his thoughts on the recent Into the Woods film adaptation, Morey let this one fly:

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In New Ad, Bank of America Will Reward You...if You Have $23,586 in Your Checking Account

Categories: Whatever

Video screencap via YouTube.com
I'm pretty sure you are safe to grab a soda at the bowling alley, big fella.
Ad campaigns are conducted for specific reasons. Businesses often want to appeal directly to a very specific target market. Not only do these advertisements tend to be more effective, but because they are so focused, it is typically easier to track the return on the investment. Enter Bank of America's new "Everywhere" ad designed to promote a new banking rewards program that gives benefits to customers who have multiple accounts and lines of credit with BofA.

The ad, in and of itself, is rather innocuous. It's just a bunch of random scenes with actors of varying ethnicity interacting with their bank in one way or another: checking an account balance via the mobile app at a bowling alley, swiping a card in a taxi, getting a mobile alert while sleeping and doing some banking on the old laptop. It's all perfectly normal until you take a closer look at some of the screen shots.

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UPDATED At Least Hitler Went to Paris, Tweets Friendswood Congressman in Strange Obama-Bash

Categories: Whatever

Wikimedia commons
Texas Congressman Randy Weber

See the end of this post for an update

In today's installment of "Shit Texas Congressmen Say," we bring you a brain-wrinkling statement that involves German-occupied Paris, President Barack Obama and Adolf Hitler.

Dutifully expressing his outrage that the Obama Administration sent no one more high profile than the U.S. ambassador to France to participate in a huge unity rally this week, GOP Congressman Randy Weber of Friendswood took to Twitter last night. The result was a bit confounding.

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Californication: Greg Abbott's Right, We Are Becoming California...

Categories: Texas, Whatever

Monica Fuentes
Governor-elect Greg Abbott is not just a shrewd politician. Texas' soon-to-be 48th governor evidently moonlights as a fortune teller, and he's come to warn the Lone Star State of impending doom.

Abbott's message is not about the state's nearly 6 million uninsured residents, the anti-science and anti-history mentality that's seeped into our textbooks, or our public school funding scheme that's twice been ruled unconstitutional. No, this was Abbott's prognostication on the eve of a brand new legislative session:

"Texas is being California-ized and you may not even be noticing it," Abbott told a crowd of conservative think-tankers at the Texas Public Policy Foundation, decrying "a patchwork quilt of bans and rules and regulations that is eroding the Texas model."

Abbott's warning is simple: Texas lawmakers this session need to crack down on cities (re: the big, scary left-leaning pockets of the state) that, due to years of inaction at the state level, have started to regulate a whole lot of stuff locally -- everything from banning fracking in city limits to LGBT non-discrimination ordinances and plastic bag bans. To Abbott, this all means the "Texas miracle" could soon become a "California nightmare."

And Abbott's not entirely wrong. If you look closely, we've got plenty more in common with our left-coast cousins than just an abundance of sunshine or plenty of beach-front real estate. Listen to Abbott. Take heed. Or else we could soon morph into that horror that is the Sunshine Golden State. We pick up where Abbott left off, and present to you a few harbinger's of the coming "California-ization" of Texas:

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5 Craziest Bills Already Filed With the Texas Legislature

Photo from the Texas Legislature

The 84th biennial Texas Legislature convenes on Tuesday, and based on recent developments -- namely the sweeping Republican victories in the midterms -- this session is going to see one of the most conservative crews ever to sit down and legislate in Austin. But never fear, all is not lost.

A tightly held Republican state legislature (a.k.a. the best every-other-year reality show around) will feature the usual focus on abortion rights (and how to get rid of them) and education funding (and what else can be cut after the budget was already scraped to the bone back in 2013.) But there are also going to be some extra-special ridiculous bills being looked at over the next few months. We've rounded up some of our favorites so far ("favorites" translates to "the ones that made us want to smack our head on the desk") of the more than 700 bills already filed since back in November. Keep in mind that state legislators will be able to file bills until March, so what follows is by no means the last word on that which some (a.k.a. we) see as just this side of crazy-pants crazy.

5. The one where everybody gets all the guns. HB 195: Relating to the carrying of handguns; providing for the open carrying of handguns; and removing the requirement that a person who may lawfully possess handguns obtain a Concealed Handgun License in order to carry a handgun lawfully in the state of Texas.

There are lots of Open Carry bills that have been filed, but the one by Rep. John Strickland is a real honey of a creation. See, Strickland not only wants to allow people to openly carry pistols and the other smaller firearms, he wants to make it so that all the people can carry all the guns all the time. HB 195 even proposes getting rid of concealed handgun licenses entirely. It's practically impossible to see how this one could, you know, backfire. Despite what you'd expect, this being shoot-em'-up Texas and all, the Lone Star State has had a 140-year ban on openly carrying firearms. If this or any of the other bills filed actually get through the Lege, Texas will become the largest state to allow this type of pistol packing.

4. The one that's trying to quash gay marriage just in case it becomes legal in Texas. HB 623: Relating to the funding, issuing, and litigation of certain marriage licenses.

It's hard to believe it, but as of right now, gay marriage has been recognized in 36 states that contain roughly 70 percent of the country's population. It's quite possible that Texas may become one of the next states to be legally on board with same-sex marriage judging from the response of the Fifth Circuit Court of Appeals last Friday. But of course, Texas lawmakers can't just go quietly and get along on this issue.

Last week Rep. Cecil Bell filed HB 623, a bill that will, among other things, prohibit the use of taxpayer funds for the licensing and support of same-sex marriage. It will also bar any government employee who recognizes gay marriage from being paid. Gay marriage is such a hot-button issue right now, this is only one of a slew of bills filed touching on the subject. However, considering where things stand and the fact that Texas may well be on the brink of becoming the next state to recognize same-sex marriages, the timing of and calculation behind this bill make it particularly exasperating.

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Hotel Icon Threatens to Sue Guest Over Bad TripAdvisor Review

Categories: Whatever

Google streetview
Part of managing a business' image in the age of online comment boards and social media is having to navigate the virtual battlefield of the internets, dealing with trigger-happy trolls along with customer criticism around every corner. Amy's Baking Company -- an Arizona bistro that, a couple of years ago, got fed up with nasty Facebook commenters, leaned hard on the caps lock and promptly flipped the hell out -- became the poster child of how not to do this.

The public, heavy-handed response from Hotel Icon's general manager this week to a negative TripAdvisor.com review may well go down as another example of how not to handle online criticism.

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Texas City to Host Questionable International Lifeguard Training Program

Categories: Whatever

Photo by Daniel Kramer
More dangerous than Jaws?
Lifeguards from around the world will descend upon Texas City this week for a training program run by a Houston-based outfit that teaches a discredited technique the American Red Cross and other organizations say is potentially harmful.

Yep, it's our friends at NASCO, whose instructors teach lifeguards to give abdominal thrusts to drowning victims while they're in the water. NASCO is one of the largest lifeguard certification agencies for water parks, which is why this is a tad troubling. The American Heart Association, the United States Lifeguard Coalition and the International Life Saving Federation all say that abdominal thrusts (the "Heimlich maneuver") are at best non-beneficial and at worst detrimental.

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