Our Awards for the Weirdest High School Mascot Names in Texas

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Clear eyes...weird name.
Anybody can come up with a simple name for a sports team. God knows there are enough Tigers and Lions and Eagles and such to fill a stadium. But, it takes real creativity and bravery to come up with a totally unique nickname for a school. In Texas, where high school football is only slightly less important than church or Whataburger, it makes sense that care and consideration are put into the names of school mascots across the great expanse of the Lone Star state.

Unfortunately, there are times when not quite enough vetting is done with a name. Had those who were on the committee to come up with the greatest high school mascot name ever done their homework, perhaps they might have gone a different direction. But, since they didn't, the best thing we can do for them -- besides offering condolences -- is give them some awards for their efforts.

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Greater Houston Football Showcase Helps High School Kids Realize College Dreams

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Photo by Brian Austin
High schoolers give it their all at the Greater Houston Senior Football Showcase

Check out our slide show of the 6th Annual Greater Houston Senior Football Showcase.

Later this week, the NFL Combine begins in Indianapolis. It's quite the spectacle, as hundreds of prospects gather in one place to participate in drills with the hope of furthering the pursuit of their dream to continue playing football and create a better life for themselves and their families.

That's the big business version of the "combine experience."

This past weekend at the Methodist Training Center here in Houston, a different version of the "combine experience" took place. The dream was essentially the same -- to keep playing football as a means to a better life. While it was done on a far less publicized scale, it was just as important to the participants.

The participants were area high school seniors, and the event was the Greater Houston Senior Football Showcase.

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Countdown to 2013 King of Content: 6. Tim Tebow

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Careers come and go, but Tebowing is forever.
They say that in death, there is life.

If that's true, then Exhibit A might be the NFL career of Tim Tebow. During a four month period beginning back in late April, Tebow was waived by the New York Jets, courted by something called the Omaha Beef, signed with the New England Patriots, before being cut again before the start of the NFL season.

A final rally in his hometown of Jacksonville where a whopping total of twelve fans showed up to express their desire for Tebow to come save the Jags was the final signal -- Tim Tebow's NFL career was dead.

And in that death there was life...life on the Hair Balls blog!

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TD Club of Houston Names H.S. Players of the Year, Coach of the Year

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And the winners are...
College recruiting is big business, big business fed by high school football, and at the epicenter of the recruiting game is Houston, Texas, the mecca of high school football.

The best of the best were on display receiving their just due on Wednesday night, in a banquet hall near the Galleria full of college coaches, families, boosters and media, as the Touchdown Club of Houston held its annual Houston area awards night for the top senior high school football players in the Houston area.

The event always provides a great reminder of just how much talent is in the area, and which schools are hot on the recruiting trail.

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Alabama High School Football Coaches Brawl After Game (w/Video)

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The main event: Coach Brawl 2013!
High school football is a big deal in Texas. It's such a big deal in fact that a book, a movie and, eventually, a TV series were made about it. And that TV series is about to be yet another movie on the subject. Friday nights in the Lone Star State are all about high school football, for real.

And, yes, it gets heated and testy and all of the adjectives you might think to apply to insular communities divided by their love of the only team in town, populated by their sons (and on extremely rare occasions, daughters). Even so, the infighting is mostly political and social, not physical. Apparently, in Alabama, they do things a little differently.

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Summer of Johnny: The NCAA Finally Comes Knocking

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Too much publicity?
Earlier this year, Texas A&M's two Heisman Trophy winners, Johnny Manziel and John David Crow, autographed six helmets together. The helmets were auctioned off by various Aggie alumni groups throughout the state of Texas and combined fetched a tidy sum of $81,600, which helped subsidize several A&M scholarships.

So Johnny Manziel's signature was readily able to help pay the bills for other current and future Aggie students, but if it were used to line his own pockets (an allegation that is currently being investigated by the NCAA), Manziel would be risking his eligibility.

And therein lies the most egregious affront to common sense in the NCAA manual (a bible of egregious affronts to common sense, by the way) -- of all things that should be yours, your goddamn name, even that is owned by the NCAA.

It's a stupid rule, but it is, for now, a rule. Johnny Manziel and Texas A&M may find this out the hard way.

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College Football: National Signing Day 2013, A Decade Of Cautionary Tales

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Ah, signing day.....
Beginning bright and early Wednesday morning, 18-year-old football players far and wide will finalize in writing their plans on where they will ply their trade for the next three to five years, causing high blood pressure in adults three times their age coast to coast and dragging the fax machine into relevance for a day.

It's National Signing Day for college football, Christmas morning for college football junkies with websites like rivals.com serving as the online version of the tree.

By end of day Wednesday, college football coaches, ALL of them, will tout the merits of their class and how delighted they are with their haul. Coaches with actual stellar classes will say as much, coaches with less than stellar classes will talk about how they were able to "fill needs."

Heading into Wednesday morning, here are some of the highlights of 2013:

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Possibly Coming to a Texas High-School Football Field Near You: Only One Full-Contact Practice Per Week

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Coaches loooovvveeee State Representative Eddie Lucio III's concussion safety bill.
Last Thursday, State Representative Eddie Lucio III, a Democrat from Brownsville, filed House Bill 887. If enacted, the law would limit middle-school and high-school football programs to one full-contact practice per week.

"Like most people, I'm influenced by the stories I read and the news I see...and how little we're doing," says Lucio about the bill that's similar to the Ivy League rule that limits full-contact practices to twice a week, which is three less than the NCAA permits.

How do some Texas high-school football coaches feel? Really happy and super stoked. (Actually, not at all.)

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Notre Dame Football Recruit "Catfishes" Himself In Lie About A Campus Visit

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Sometimes the sports gods have a sense of humor. For example, a player named Nomar Garciaparra (and the multiple "ar" sounds in his name) landing in Boston, with the natives' ridiculous accent, is funny to me.

Sometimes the sports gods are cruel. Refer to the entire sports history of the city of Cleveland for more information on this.

And sometimes the sports gods have a cruel sense of humor.

Meet Stanley Williams, a blue chip, high school running back in the state of Georgia.

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2012: The Year in Zapruder, a Recap of My Detailed Video Recaps

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Like this but with more mayhem...and some sports.
I'm not sure when it happened, but somewhere along the line in 2012, the Zapruder-style analysis of viral videos became my thing.

Much like you'd go to Clay Travis on SEC football or to Peter King's Monday Morning Quarterback for the weekend that was in the NFL, when you the reader needed hardcore detailed analysis of a naked redneck on meth interrupting a high school football game, I became your guy.

And I love you for that.

I love you so much that I want you to have all of my Zapruder analyses from 2012 in one convenient nook of the internet. So without further ado, I give you the Year in Zapruder 2012!

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